Veteran of the Psychic Wars

Good news-

It looks like they finally fixed my SSD! Yay, I'm crazy again!!!! Seriously, all it took was sending the paperwork in three times to two different offices, getting ignored by my caseworker and have her refuse to arrange to talk to me (or to my mom who has my POA for just such occasions *head desk*) and tell me I need to talk to another office, but not give me the contact info, and a nasty note sent in with the last set of paperwork saying just that... but I still haven't received any notification, just a magically appearing deposit in my bank account from Soc Sec. *sighs* One day I will figure it out, but not today; today I am just accepting something good happening and not looking at it too closely.
On a related note, Mys went shopping! And yes, this is Mys' idea of a shopping spree. I bought a new backpack, I've had my other one for 8 or 9 years and it was secondhand when I got it, lol. I bought new shoelaces from the place that has the shoelaces that I don't kill within a month, and insoles for my boots. A new writing pad, the other one only had about 5 blank pages left and considering it's gotten me through 3 big bang fics over the course of two years and a handful of other smaller fics I needed to take notes on, I didn't feel too guilty about it. I also bought a pen! I finally found a fine point blue Pilot, not the kind I wanted, but considering how hard it is to find a fine point pen of any kind around here, I'll take it, lol. Oh, and socks! I was down to my last two pair from the ones I got winter before last. We're planning to go up to Stockholm this week and I thoroughly plan to buy books at the Sci-Fi Bookstore, now whether or not I actually find anything I haven't read or have is another matter entirely, lol. And there is an outside chance I may see about getting new boots, the ones I have I got two years ago and after two Swedish winters they're showing their age, and some new jeans, I'm down to one pair and they're, uhh, whatdya call the ones that only come to your calf? Whatever, it's a pair of those that I've had to patch up twice already, of course, I've had them since before I moved here, so they're doing pretty good for being about 6 or 7 years old, lol. See, I'm really good at this spending spree thing, *tongue firmly planted in cheek* lol. It's the one cliché thing about BP I don't really suffer from; don't get me wrong, I can go on a binge just like anyone else, but that's the thing it's like anyone else, not like someone in the throes of a mania, or maybe it is... it's the one of the only times I'll actually say I want something, of course, most ppl just take that as me getting past my other dx's... so few docs understand the difference, but that's another tale.

I've gotten previews of some of the art for Battle Hymns!!!! It's brilliant! *hugs art* And she's trying to do something from the scene(s) Mia and I asked for (nearly impossible in my opinion, so I'm just soaring on the fact that she's trying to do it :D ).

Not so good news-

My blood sugar is all over the place, so the doc is running all sorts of tests, which is good I guess, at least this guy's taking me seriously. I'll know more Monday. *crosses fingers*

I hate my shrink. I've calmed down about the therapy thing, Pup keeps telling me I over-reacted and that he really does want to get me a therapist- nothing I heard said that, but I was already freaking out so I'm trying to at least tell myself I believe her. *sigh* I'm managing to get a 'list' thing together for him- slowly- I just don't see how to make these things "measurable", but I'm trying.

Oh, and I finally started watching S7... only four eps in... and not exactly a happy camper, but I have yet to attack the tv, so it's a start- I'm making Fanboy sit through it with me, which helps, gives me someone to rant at, lol.

Bad news-

I'm 99% sure I'm dropping out of the JLBB, well, the blog!fic one... it's just killing me. Every time I think I'm getting somewhere I go over it and realize it's either utter garbage or taking the story in a direction I don't want to go... I swear I've deleted enough for at least three 10k+ fics. And now I'm trying something a bit different that involves writing blog entries for John, so I went and read over all the entries on the BBC page... my gods, they are AWFUL! I mean seriously, if I was reading that, guh... if it were a fic I would actually stop reading and put the author on my mental 'Do Not Read' list. And do you have any idea how hard it is to mimic that kind of awful writing?!?!?!?! *rocks head in hands* Kill me now, pls...

I have two other birthday fics I'm supposed to be writing and that one *points angrily upwards* is totally fic-blocking me. Grrrr.
Brianna, one of those is yours, and I will get it done if I have to stab the blog!fic through the heart with a nice sharp stake to keep it pinned down and out of my way!

Back to the shrink. He was getting on me about not getting out and walking and stuff like that. Which, I know, walking and exercise are supposed to help with endorphins or whatever it's supposed to release, so to humour him and Pup I've been walking to the store and taking the bus home (I always walk to and from the close store, this is the big one), and walking downtown and back (when I'm coming back and not going to the store)... it's only making me feel worse. I told Pup I was being good and walking places, she was all upset because I wasn't telling her how much better I felt... I told her the truth- I feel worse; drained and stressed out and not so much tired as just uber lethargic with no energy or interest in doing anything. She just glared at me and went back to her writing. *sigh* It's not my fault the 'magic' cure (or aid rather) isn't working and it's not my fault that it's just exacerbating the down I'm already on... Now, I just wonder if the doc'll believe me. :/


.

Oh gods, where to start!!!!!!

Expect random Mys to be random, she’s not feeling the organizational side of herself today AT ALL, lol.

( On Christmas and Fanboy )

( On MIs, mine and other ppls- including Aspie rant! )

( On my fic- short for once, lol )

( On other ppl's fic and how to annoy Mys with buggered info  )

There’s other r/l stuff, but it’s a little to close to home as it were and yeah, if I dump, I’ll dump in a nice locked post later. :P

So, I'm torn between doing pretty good considering and feeling like shite...
I actually got some writing done last night and this morning so bonus!
Got all caught up with dishes (this may not sound like much, but when there are 5 ppl, none of which can clean up after themselves, save she who does do the dishes, nor do they seem able to grasp the concept of reusing your glasses it piles up quickly and that's before dinner), woohoo, and the hall, again, and laundry (well, not caught up because that seems impossible, but I got two loads done ETA: this now goes in the crap column 'cause apparently I did too much laundry... how come when she piles stuff on me to wash and I tell her there's no room she gets pissy, but when I do the laundry and there's too much I should've known better??????? Double standard much?), and the dogs, which I'm gonna rant about later(or not), so all in all pretty good.

Pup wants to say yes to this apartment. :S They have this really weird way of renting here. First, you get in a queue for a complex and they tell you if they have the kind of apt you want available. Then you get in a queue for that and you have to say yes or no that you want to be in that queue. So yeah she wants to say yes to this place and I want to go see it first 'cause well I like to know where I'm agreeing to move and I don't like that she's jumping at the first thing that comes along, but apparently my opinion counts for shit. I'm not even saying not to say yes, I just wanna take a look first!

Top that with the toilet seat breaking, which Pup doesn't know about yet because if I tell her I'll get blamed for it. Grrr. ETA: Holy crap, she didn't blame me! This now goes in the good pile. :D
And now the garlic is missing, obviously it's my fault, either for using it, which I didn't, or not telling her, which, well, there was a half clove last time I checked.
Sometimes I HATE my life.
ETA:Now, I lost her towel and it's my fault HRH hasn't taken home the Christmas ornaments Mom sent her last year...
...and all this ladies and gellyspoons is why Mys actually DID change her Twitter name and ID!

Oh and I think I'm doing better on the tweaked meds, but Pup thinks I'm back to being where I was before they upped the Seroquel last year. But damn-it I feel better and I'm writing better, okay the bunnies are coming kinda fast, but I'm catching them and they aren't whizzing all around my head like they're on crack and multiplying at the same rate. I still got a lot going on fic-wise, but 2 are for exchanges, 1 is for fall_for_sx, 1's been in progress since 5x21 so I'm not in any rush, lol, 2 are half formed ideas that may be drabbles or ficlets at best, again no rush, there's the Loki one, which I still haven't decided whether or not to follow through on, 1's a bit o' porn that I'm whipping up in my spare time, 1's a sequel to The Lee, which I want to take my time with, so yet again, no rush, 1 I actually want to work on, but it's having to wait until the exchanges and seasonals are done, and finally 1 that I don't know what it is yet because it's another exchange and the assignments haven't gone out yet.
Okay so that's what 11 fics, but only 6 1/2 are actually active projects... that still sounds bad, doesn't it... the thing is that after Christmas 4 will be gone, so see not that bad... oh wait there's the Other One which may or may not ever get done, long story not going into it, save to say, GUH!

Anyway, I still think I'm doing better, I don't feel like I'm walking around with my brain in molasses... and damn-it that and having my muses back are important! *sigh*

I've started taking Colin (my MP3 player- what I name stuff, my phone is James and my comp is Cas and, well, the first thing I put on my MP3 was 3x03, lol, so it seemed fitting :P ) to bed with me, and yes I realize how dirty that sounds and it was NOT why I named him that!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, I've been sleeping so much better with noise... ppl say I'm nuts, well, a different kind of nuts, but I really do sleep better with sounds, and here it's just too damn quiet! I long for gun shots or sirens or the telly to be left on or ANYTHING, wolves even, just SOMETHING. So yeah, I've been sneaking him to bed with me and setting the volume really low and putting the timer on and well, 15 minutes tops and I'm asleep, none of this staring at the ceiling for HOURS, it's been wonderful... *sigh*

Random comment, I still haven't been able to watch any more Merlin OR SPN... this must not stand!

On a totally geeky note, I dl'd the Oxford English Dictionary :) the CD version anyway... it makes me happy and scares the childer, lol.
I also managed to get S1 and S2 OST for Merlin, it's beautiful, no really, it's lovely. *nodnodnod*

Now, I must go find room for House and Voyager on the HDD... *straightens neckerchief and goes to fight with the HDD and then more dishes*


.

Greetings and salivations!
I'm feeling kinda weird today so bear with me, k.
See, first I'm dangerously obsessing about Merlin (and since last night Bradley's ass), even considering ficcing. *denies she already has a drabble squirrelled away*
Then my snooker is starting back up, so months to come of arguing with MM and MB over who gets to watch/record on the telly- Mys will out, damn you!
And of course SPN is approaching rapidly, not to mention S5 dvds are out soon, so I'm gonna be sitting here alternating between Merlin and SPN and snooker- I almost wouldn't blame the childer from wanting to kill me, lol.
AND, AND I'm guessing the Dean/Cas-SPN seasonal comms will be opening soon so not only will I be signing up for those, I went and signed up for fall_for_sx. *head desk*
Anybody interested in helping me suss out the last bit of a Spandery fic that's been sitting unattended for MONTHS. It's one of the last 2 pieces I plan to finish before I bow out of fandom (BtVS/AtS, not SPN or anything), so I really wanna get it done and figured this was as good a time as any. :)

And why is it so hard to find caps of that one scene in 1x11 where Arthur's rolling around on the ground with his butt being all guh! in front of the camera! I need an Arthur butt shot!!!!! :P

Woot! Hellllllllooooooooo pppppppppppppppppppplllllllllllsssssssss! *waves- okay so more like flails insanely because she's in a VERY weird mood*

Despite appearances this post is incredibly low on the fandom levels, lol

First, some fandom stuffage. "Last night I had the strangest dream, I'd never dreamed before," umm, no... Last night I finished my spring_with_xan fic! Well, the main one, I'd had a small little PWP squirrelled away just in case, now, I got both. :P
Also, I bit the bullet and signed up for the deancasbigbang, just the mini-Bang, but still. Thanks for the input and support guys. I've even had an idea, I had this kinda disturbing post 5x22 fic, Dean's a bit, umm, dark, not evil or anything... think Sammy towards the end of "Mystery Spot". Anyway, I realized that I could actually flush it out a LOT more than I was originally planning, and it would work nicely. I think I might even be able to get it close if not over the 10,000 word mark. *chews lip* Whatever, I'm giving it a shot!
Of course, I also signed up for CasFest because, dude, exchange fic makes me surprisingly happy, lol.

And now for the main part of this post, NO it's not chocked full of Supernatural goodness, more a slight 6 degrees of SPN kinda thing. See, I was signing up for CasFest and they wanted prompts, now I'm lousy at prompts, so I went rummaging through my music collection. Hey, what can I say, sometimes I am a walking cliche, lol. Anyway, I wound up listening to some of my old Excentrics and Getaway Car (two of my favourite bands ever, Getaway Car was the spawn of Excentrics when they split up), and yeah unknown indie bands from DC not likely to be easy to provide lyrics for, right. So I did a quick web search and about had a coronary when I found there were actually places that had their lyrics- floored doesn't begin to cover it, lol.
Now, I know this will come as a shock, but I get picky about how lyrics look, if they are comfortable to read, etc... so I clicked on a couple links, then a couple more. And one of these blessed links had a set of vids from one of the guys' last performances. Not just vids- YouTube vids. So yeah, this led to a helluva lot more clicking and much annoyiing squeeing on Twitter and an unremorseful spamming of Facebook (uber apologies to half_vulcan who suffered the brunt of my insanity)- oh and LOTS of downloads, lol. See, it seems the lead singer of those groups is still doing some random gigs, so yeah freakout. Then- yes, this story continues- the next day I set about ripping the sound from the vids, but one little vid hadn't dl'd properly, so I went back to YouTube, looked up the song and discovered a different uploader than the ones I'd been skulking around the day before. And this person kept referencing Todd's 40x40 project and these vids were remarkable NEW, like March of 2010 type new. So in the midst of my hyperventilation I manage to do a search on Todd... and I found LOVE. Not only is he still around, but this 40x40 project is him releasing one new/refurbed origiinal song every week for the 40 weeks before his 40th birthday (which is the second week of July for those of you interested, and no, I didn't have to look it up- some things you remember--- random scary thought: I've known him, like actually known him, since before either of us were legal to drink- though I doubt he'd remember me, it's been @ 10 years or so since I saw him last, lol). Yeah, but wait it gets better, see he's offering each song as a FREE download *flails* so yeah I just dl'd 33 heavenly, beautiful and absolutely miraculous songs. *beams cheesily* Anyway, he's releasing them on Cd, too, so when it's all said and done I'm gonna buy it/them because he's Todd and I can't not. He, well, his music makes me unreasonably happy.


Oh, if anyone is brave/insane/curious enough to see what I'm talking about there's one of those nifty music players on the MySpace page, may I suggest Unlucky Stars, Blood Red, or Imperfect Heart, oh 45's really awesome, too... assuming you ppl actually know what a 45 is, lol, and Too Late Tonight... I'll stop now. Really. See, I'm pressing enter. Look. See. I am. Damn you, I said look!

So, I was prowling through my fic folder and decided to take a look at Void, it's this x-over fic (BtVs and SPN). Thing is, I started it YEARS ago, like the tail end of SPN S1 and it's like my 3rd fic ever but it's not too bad, I think... maybe... anyway for some reason it struck a chord and I started working on it again, but I could use some opinions-

Pay attention I'm asking something here, lol

See, since I started this early on in SPN terms, there are things that don't sit well knowing what we know now.

Like, my John isn't a dick/deadbeat dad who left Dean to practically raise Sammy on his own.

Dean's much more easy going (like he was in S1).

And it's either gen or Xander/Dean, it keeps changing it's mind (right now it's gen and I kinda like it that way).

So, yeah, makes me wonder if anyone'd even be interested... and so I give you a poll! (Don't worry I fully expect to hear the crickets chirping, but I thought I'd ask *shrugs*)

[Poll #1551427]

And lastly, *squeeeee* I just pre-ordered S5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *squeeeee*
Yes, I have no life, but we knew that already.

Sorry it just seemed to fit.
My muses and BAMF!Cas seem to have come to an understanding, WOOT!
Basically, I wound up writing more of Arcana (a bit I was having trouble with no less) and then watching s'more of S4.

I rewatched "Monster at the End of This Book", "The Rapture", and "Lucifer Rising" (really easy going stuff there, lol) and wound up with a couple pointless fangrrlly questions.
-Why did I never notice that the thing Chuck's publisher was ranting about 'all anybody wanted these days' was Dr. Sexy, MD???????
-Is it just me or is Sam's anti-possession tat facing one way and Dean's another?

Oh, and to prove a point, yes, I screeched when she shot Jimmy- again. I always do that, no matter how many times I see it (okay, so this was only like the 4th time, but still) or how much I know it's coming.
And then today I've been running around hells' half acre trying to find interfacing and a card wallet. You would not expect either of these items to be particularly difficult to find... they are here. *grrr*
On the up side, I decided to go for a swim since I was downtown, spent almost a full hour doing laps. This all does tie into the muses/BAMF!Cas war because, while I was there, I kept thinking about this strange thought I had last night... the summary of a Dean/Cas fic- "Dean, Cas, and a candle-lit dinner" it went downhill from there, lol. Anyway, the line wouldn't leave me alone then somehow the other boys (the Spandery ones) snuck in and seemed to randomly suss where Briana's little ficlet is going, so this was of the good- no, it does not involve candle-lit dinners.

Holy hells!!!!! I got something Spandery written! (small though it may be) *hugs mulder200 and jjean65* Thank you, guys! ♥ ♥ ♥ No, it's nothing from your prompts, but if it wasn't for your prompts rolling around in my head I don't think the muses would have woken up. Now to just keep them going, lol.

Useless info from SPN!fangrrl: You remember the beading project(s)? Well, the most recent (and only one worthy of completion) is almost done! Just need to find where the hells Swede's hide the interfacing and tack that on with the final three rows of beads and sew that onto the mount and it'll be done! *dances* I'm hoping to have that sussed by tomorrow. Then I can walk around confusing pagans everywhere, lol. If I can ever figure out how to actually get the digital camera on MM's cell to upload to the comp, I may even torment you with pictures later, lol.

Random information: I'm almost finished with Unseen Academicals. *pouts* I'm debating rerererererererererere-reading Good Omens or actually reading Making Money, which I somehow forgot I had under all the Dresden books, lol. I need more Pratchett in my life!!!!!!!


ETA: It wigs me out, more than a little bit, when I still get ppl favouriting my first scary het/OFC fic over at WWOMB and FF.net. Just thought I'd share that.

Holy FUCK!

I DON'T win Forbidden Awards- runner-up or anything! It just DOES NOT happen!!!!!!! *flailsqueeflail*

Okay, I WILL NOT normally torture ppl with completed fic, but this one's been in the works so long and I have posted parts of it here, so for anyone who doesn't get side swiped by this on the comms who might be interested, I give you in it's entirety...

Title: Streets of London
Pairing: Spike(William the Bloody)/Xander
Rating: PG13
Feedback: Mys has decided that she actually likes FB, so… constructive crit is fine, just be prepared for Mys to defend/explain her choices, and try not to do any permanent damage, k.
Disclaimer: Just playing with the pretty kittens. Unfortunately, they are not mine, but I will gladly groom and bathe them before sending them back home to Daddy (aka Joss/Mutant Enemy/et al).
Beta: staticspinning graciously volunteered to put up with Mys and her psychotic writing process for this. *huge huge hugs* I cannot begin to say how grateful I am for this, hun!!!!!!
Warnings/Squicks: severely AU
Summary: It’s the summer of 1890, Alexander stops by his favourite bookshop and is drawn into a discussion with the shopkeeper (and family friend) Wesley Wyndham and the attractive young blonde visiting his shop.

Chapters 1-3
Chapters 4-6
Chapters 7-9
Chapters 10-11 + Epilogue