Veteran of the Psychic Wars

*giggles madly* Okay, Pup said the funniest thing to me yesterday... we were watching "Queen of Hearts" I know, but they hadn't seen it and I have to keep that whole Mys-is-on-S4 thing quiet, so I had to watch it again... though there was Dragoon, which made up for a lot. Anyway, we were watching it and it came up that Pup is under the misguided impression that I'm an Arthurian!!! It was all I could do not to completely bust out laughing... I mean seriously say it with me everyone "Mys is a Merlinian". *head desk* How does she get that idea? It's Merlin's whose lines I know, it's Merlin I risk drooling over... even HS knows I'm a Merlinian, she's said as much, lol.

I still need fix-it fic. *pouts*

I need to actually post the fic I have lying around.

Why do I get like twice as many comments on anon fic as I do on stuff I admit I wrote? *scratches head* Curious...

Silence is eating my brain, mainly because either 'm lost with too many ideas or freaked because of one of my comments (it was a good thing just freaky). Gwaine has tried to take over one part, but at least I like that bit and it actual makes sense, lol.

I'm about to make an executive decision to start looking for a beta for the pauldron!fic, which I'm terrified about doing, but I need to at some point. Unfortunately r/l is kicking my normal beta's arse.

I've decided that if it's close enough to Christmas for them to start selling the special Christmas soda and the exchange comms to start then it's close enough for me to break out my Colin Christmas icon. :P

Not that anyone besides me cares, but Robertson won the latest PTC- WOOHOO!

Similarly, the Squirrels Cards aren't doin' half bad, or weren't until the game that's on right now started... bottom of the first, runners on first and second, two outs, and one run scored for the bloody Rangers *grr* Scratch that, bases loaded... *head desk and repeat*

Lastly, anybody wanna tell me if I'll survive watching 4x04 or if I need to have copious amounts of chocolate on hand? 'm not talking details here just basic will Mys be in tears again type thing.

And yes, I really need to make a proper post, but 'm tired and don't feel like it.


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RALLY SQUIRRRRRRRREEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
I want a rally squirrel. *nodnodnod*

I think my brain is going to explode soon, 've been ficcing my head out and watching the post season games... GO SQUIRRELS CARDS!!!!!!!! :p~
Pup doesn't get it, she's trying, but she gets so confused when I like multiple teams. *shakes head* What's so hard to understand that you have a pecking order, she gets it with my snooker, but for some reason she doesn't with baseball. Like she doesn't understand that I was rooting for the Braves over the Cards, the Cards over the Phillies, the Brewers over the D'backs, the Cards over the Brewers, and either the Cards or the Brewers over the Tigers or the Rangers [and lets not go into the Tigers/Yankees things 'cause that just gets totally screwy since she was rooting for the Yankees and now is rooting for the Tigers... THAT makes sense, but mine doesn't? WTHs... it should probably say something that she prefers AL teams to NL teams- heathen, lol (pls remember that I also root for the Red Sox, so there are always exceptions, :p~) ...I guess I did go there, lol.]

Anyway head exploding... 5 fics (4 completed) and one niggling idea that I think 'm totally outta my depth on writing...
( pokes at cut )

And not that it's any surprise, but Colin is frying my brain... I so wasn't prepared for the Late Late Show pics... I still haven't ventured to actually watch it... I keep squeaking and it scares the childer, lol. Is it too early to break out my Christmas icon Arthur made me last year? 'cause really I still want, lolololol.

Is it bad that 'm sitting here watching last night's Cards/Brewers game switching over to SVT2 every now and then waiting for Dragoon to show up? ...while making sure HS isn't paying attention or she'll start squeeing Though she still hasn't forgiven me for Island... 52 minutes of her staring at the telly and at me and at the telly and at me and finally "He looks like Murhlin" "Oh..."
Woohoooooooo!!!!!! Stalling tactics worked, and she didn't bat an eye, *snickers* Gods I love that look Arthur gives him Bawahahahahahahahahaha! Okay, my world has just been made exponentially better. :}

And I am officially ignoring S7 until further notice, much to Fanboy's horror and dismay *shrugs* but I figure I watch my shows to make me happy and if that woman is buggering my show I don't need to deal with it, not just yet at any rate. I'm still collecting the eps so I can watch them when I decide to, whenever that may be.

Alrighty, back to the grindstone, mayhaps there will be posted fic in my future. ;)


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Andreas Johnson is HOT... I just haven't said that in a while and with the new wave of Scorett commercials I deemed it worth mentioning.

I'm being an awful horrible f-lister more than usual because 'm avoiding all the spoilers and speculation and whatnot from SPN and Merlin which pretty much knocks out ALL of my f-list. No offence to anyone, 'm just trying to live in denial as long as possible. :/
I really don't like being two shades away from tears over my shows, esp when one hasn't even started yet... *head desk* I need a life. I need to not have strange nightmares about not getting lost in St Louis and those being the nightmares you "wake up to" when you're having nightmares about the horrible places you mind can go with what they're doing to my Merlin this series!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! your shows... and it's one of those nightmares that circles in on itself like some great dreamworld ouroborus.
Even fic isn't helping... I need some loving B/C fic if anyone has any lying around... *pouty lip*

I do not like this whole thing with the AL and NL wild card spots... it's supposed to be Red Sox and Braves *grrrrrr* (and no it has not escaped my easily amused mind that they were once both based out of Boston, and really that has nothing to do with it...)

*goes back to looking for more Andreas... Andreas makes things better*


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Okay, so I worked a wee bit on the Merlin_Muses #2 sequel, but only because the entire opening scene sprouted unbidden in my head, lol. I have since packed it away, nice and safe, and started or restarted working on my SPN beading project, but then today I had the most brilliant realization. There’s no fic or anything weighing over me, and I have a nice possibly less than legal copy of DII… I brushed my Paladin off and spent the day smashing the crap outta beasties and baddies and jacking up my Thorns even higher, you wanna whump on me you WILL get wumped back- almost 800% now. *bounces*
We also got our new sofa set today and HRH and I spent the afternoon putting it together, out-thinking the buggered bits, literally. AND they’re coming to paint the kitchen, finally, tomorrow. And because of all that Pup’s having a nervous breakdown, leaving me the one with the dx’s to try to hold it together… Mys is kinda on auto-pilot, guh.

It is OFFICIAL, I FINISHED IT!!! Read over, edited and tweaked, and I think it’s ready for the beta… unfortunately my normal beta’s life is being insane so she can’t do it. :( I would just go begging for an replacement beta, but I really want Arthur to read over it before I let someone else have a go at it. She’s not a beta or anything, but she’s always able to find the wholes and help me patch them up. But Arthur’s life is even more buggered, ‘ve barely talked to her in weeks. *whimpers* I’m worried about her.

Anyway, it’s DONE, and ‘m attempting to step away from the writing before I start feeling like ‘m forcing it. I plan to spend the near future killing things in DII, working on the tat, and watching the rest of S6 of SPN- it got here last week(!!!), so no more excuses for not watching it. *sighs* Just somebody make sure there’s some chocolate and maybe some ice cream… have I mentioned how much I really HATE that they’re buggering up my two fav shows six ways to Sunday? I just want my Cas not being psycho, and Gwen being cool and not fawning over Arthur, and Merlin smiling again… I’m not that difficult. *pouts*
*considers wandering off in search of fic that makes everything better, unfortunately, I’m afraid my search will be in vain :(*

I hate this. I've been working on the pauldron!fic and making headway even. And, well, since it was supposed to be for the Merlin BB I kinda want to complete it as such, though depending on what happens in the near future with the fic and with Arthur I may have to forego or get the art later, but that part is beside the point. The point is that 'm at 23k and only have two (I think) scenes left and both of those are partially done, so I really don't see how this is gonna hit the 30k mark. What I'm trying to decide is whether or not to fight it? I mean, I'm think this is gonna bottom out around 25-26k (which I think still qualifies as the longest thing 've ever written, my DCBB was 24k), which is kinda far from 30k, I mean, I usually write around 1-2k for a normal fic- yes I know Arthur and Merlin seem to be stretching that for me, but still. And I really don't think I could eke out another 5k for this. If it hits closer to 28k then yeah I might struggle for those last few words, but 25k...

So what 'm asking is should I let this end where it ends or should I keep pushing to hit 30k?


And on completely separate note if anyone involved is wondering, yes, I plan to get my ass back over to the merlin_land challenges before they die, it's just the pauldron!fic has come back to life after months of silence and I kinda wanna let the muses talk while their talking, and quite frankly I'm not sure I have enough words for both the pauldron!fic and the Discussion, but I will make an appearance, I promise.

I need Sebastian/Uther fic/grapics/manips SOMETHING in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In other news, I've written 4 fics in the last week *googly eyes* and suffered through reading 1 today that made me twitch, unfortunately, I still haven't gotten the bad taste out of my mouth from that one.

've been trying to wrap my head around the pauldron!fic and it's beating me. :/ I watched Henry V today, haven't seen it in ages and it should disturb me that I can still quote the thing from start to finish and baby Christian Bale is still one of the most beautiful creatures known to man. *sigh* Anyway, those two things actually are related, I was watching it hoping it would get the words coming considering how lyrical it is.

Did I mention I REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY need Sebastian/Uther in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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A) Arthur and Dean snarking in my head sounds way too much like Arthur and Gwaine snarking... I am scared. I have also decided that Gwaine and Dean need to get sloshed together and start a brawl, whether or not this will happen is uncertain, but it needs to happen.
B) I have gotten tired of waiting and am currently DLing not one, but three, yes, 3- one, two , three- copies of Island... I am not feeling the least bit guilty 'cause it was supposed to be here yesterday at the latest, not that I would feel all that guilty otherwise, but just saying.
C) If anyone reads the fic I'm currently working on for one of the challenges/exchanges/things I have going and decides to stalk me, I may have written down my address for them... thankfully it's an address I no longer live at :P
D) Cas keeps getting unplugged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *grrrrrrr*
E) I have a letter from my doc, a printed page from one of the fics 'm working on, a receipt, one 2.5x4 inch scrap of paper, and one 7x5 inch scrap of paper all shoved into my notebook and covered in parts of no less than four different fics incl two complete fics and four scenes from one fic... none of this was actually written on the actual paper in the notebook... why do I even bother with the notebook?
F) Colin is evil
G) I have no idea why I decided to list these things... but I am returning to one of these fics now.


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( all that head desking *points* it's under here )

Okay, time to straighten the neckerchief and attack the mountain of dishes (how the hells one family can use EVERY cup, plate, and bowl in the house in less than 24hrs on a disturbingly regular basis is truly beyond me) and sort out the laundry- at least HS is gone for a few days, that always cuts down on everything. Anyway, duty calls.

ETA- Pup just came in to tell my Andrew Lloyd Webber has done a 'new' (okay, Pup just added that it was back in March, not that this does anything to disarm the point) musical with her end all, be all of the musical world, Michael Crawford, in... Wizard of Oz. *mrphle- and not the good kind* Yes, I know there are only like 3 or 4 of you who will understand the true depths of disturbing horror this is for me. She hasn't told me anything else; I take it, it is more his production rather than him trying to rewrite everything... that is almost worse. Gods, she's going to be insufferable... *dies- again not the good kind* 'scuse me while I go twitch uncontrollably for a few hours.


*NB- it is also worth of note that this was not the icon I had selected for this post, but in my horror hurry to add that last bit I scrolled when I meant to click and far be it for me to go against the power of Colin, lol.

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So it’s official, I dropped out of the BB… ‘m trying not to feel like a, I don’t know, not exactly a loser ‘cause I know there’s no reason to feel that way. I’m still doing my fic, hells, finally worked my way around a mini scene that was giving me trouble. So it’s not like it’s dead, if anything it feels more alive than it has recently, like now that I’m not under the time constraints all those little bits that were fighting and straining to fit in, or to get out in a rush are just letting themselves flow and not worrying about when it gets in or that it has to fit perfectly NOW. *sighs* The pauldron!fic is definitely still alive, it’s just no longer a BB fic.
Oh, and for those who don’t know “the pauldron!fic” was the moniker for my BB before I started referring to it as “my BB”- don’t ask, it’s a bit odd to explain, not difficult just odd; you know, the kind of odd that once you explain it ppl start backing away from you slowly or giving you that ‘I’m gonna stick around if only so I can keep one eye on you and your weirdness’.

And hugs to everyone who sent me kisses (and a bit extra for the freaky demonic kiss); they came at a good time. :-)

I can also say that YES I have finished my meltdown, no more aftershocks or anything, the world is safe as it ever was from psychotic!fandom!Mys. Only downside to any of it, and I really think this is more a “sadly confused in the head” issue than a fandom issue, is that I’m feeling more subdued than normal, but it’s also that time of year, so…

In news of the ‘no one really cares, but it’s my LJ so ‘m allowed to’, ‘ve spent way too much of the past week and a half dealing with Shithead (for those who have not been exposed, Shithead is HS’s ‘father’- and I use the term loosely trying abusive, racist bastard, who can’t even admit he’s done anything wrong when the fucking COURTS have declared him an abusive SOB). Somehow, I have gone from being useless and computer/fandom obsessed on one hand (Pup’s), and an insane laughing hyena on the other (Shithead’s) to being the one who can talk to Shithead/the one Shithead will talk to. I never wanted either job, really. I hate trying to be civil to ppl ‘d rather castrate and feed their own intestines. It doesn’t help that he’s an idiot. ‘ve been fighting with him trying to get him to pay the damages the court declared and he’s been jerking us around- I shall spare you the gory details. Anyway, now he’s fucking FLYING out here tomorrow to give us (me) the payment in cash. Don’t ask, just don’t. Yeah, and he refuses to understand the concept of ‘it’s Saturday.’ He wants us to go down to the courthouse or the police station or the solicitor’s or the bank and we keep telling him none of these places are open on Saturdays, least ‘round here they’re not (yes, I live in BFE, actually, BFE is an upgrade). *head desk* So yeah, fun day for Mys tomorrow. Grrrrrr.

Ohh, fandom obsessing… you know how I read Island t’other day, well, I keep having bloody scenes randomly playing out in my head (like literally ‘ll be watching something else and my mind wanders for two seconds and there, boom, snapshot from scene X) and it’s BLOODY ARSE DISTURBING!!!!!! I know I have what could be considered by some to be an absolutely, undeniably unhealthy obsession, but still- do not want! ‘m gonna get enough once it actually gets here, I don’t need my brain throwing possible interpretations into my mind in full Technicolor! It wasn’t even that good!!!!!!! *rolls eyes*

Random- I find way too much amusement in ancient “Man on the Mountain” assassin!vamp teasing almost as ancient vamp!Lance and calling him Lance-baby. It’s cute, I want to pinch his cheeks, lol.

Anyway, I need to actually get back to doing this beta that I kept being too emo meltdown girl erm, distracted to work on properly and making myself go work on the merlin_land challenges ‘ve been avoiding though I think I will continue to play avoidy with them until tomorrow- see subdued, since when is it hard for me to rant over there, really, since when!?!?!?! *considers having head examined... again*

And I saw this over at silkmoth101’s journal and well, book memes, film memes, and psych memes are weaknesses, lol.

( Further proof that Mys is an antisocial, esoteric weirdo… )


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Greetings and salivations! Yes, I am unusually chipper today just go with it for the moment, k.

So, I kinda had a complete and total fandom meltdown last night. I mean, I was screaming on Twitter for Arthur so loud that her brother, who NEVER tweets answered asking if I wanted him to wake her up… yeah, I was having a bit of a meltdown.
This

has been me last night, lol.

Yes, well, in the midst of my crash or the reasons for it basically killed my BB or any hope I had of meeting the current deadlines. ‘m still doing it and I’m hoping it will still be ready this autumn, but I don’t think it’ll be as part of the challenge. Still, it means I can focus on betaing the things I’m supposed to be betaing, even bought a new ream of paper *shh, paper is a closely guarded commodity* so I can actually print this stuff out and highlight it to death, or not as the case may be.
Apparently this little meltdown also woke part of my muses up, I wrote fic this morning, okay it was one of my weird drabbles, but still. This is esp important in that I wrote it on a receipt while waiting for the bus… this is a good thing, strange I know but good. I wrote one of my best loved SPN fics on the back of an envelope while HS was in swim class, so yeah, notes on random bits of whatever’s in my bag/pockets is of the good, lol.


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