There's fandom in this thar post (and some r/l) and I have committed meme

[heavenlyxbodies]

So it’s official, I dropped out of the BB… ‘m trying not to feel like a, I don’t know, not exactly a loser ‘cause I know there’s no reason to feel that way. I’m still doing my fic, hells, finally worked my way around a mini scene that was giving me trouble. So it’s not like it’s dead, if anything it feels more alive than it has recently, like now that I’m not under the time constraints all those little bits that were fighting and straining to fit in, or to get out in a rush are just letting themselves flow and not worrying about when it gets in or that it has to fit perfectly NOW. *sighs* The pauldron!fic is definitely still alive, it’s just no longer a BB fic.
Oh, and for those who don’t know “the pauldron!fic” was the moniker for my BB before I started referring to it as “my BB”- don’t ask, it’s a bit odd to explain, not difficult just odd; you know, the kind of odd that once you explain it ppl start backing away from you slowly or giving you that ‘I’m gonna stick around if only so I can keep one eye on you and your weirdness’.

And hugs to everyone who sent me kisses (and a bit extra for the freaky demonic kiss); they came at a good time. :-)

I can also say that YES I have finished my meltdown, no more aftershocks or anything, the world is safe as it ever was from psychotic!fandom!Mys. Only downside to any of it, and I really think this is more a “sadly confused in the head” issue than a fandom issue, is that I’m feeling more subdued than normal, but it’s also that time of year, so…

In news of the ‘no one really cares, but it’s my LJ so ‘m allowed to’, ‘ve spent way too much of the past week and a half dealing with Shithead (for those who have not been exposed, Shithead is HS’s ‘father’- and I use the term loosely trying abusive, racist bastard, who can’t even admit he’s done anything wrong when the fucking COURTS have declared him an abusive SOB). Somehow, I have gone from being useless and computer/fandom obsessed on one hand (Pup’s), and an insane laughing hyena on the other (Shithead’s) to being the one who can talk to Shithead/the one Shithead will talk to. I never wanted either job, really. I hate trying to be civil to ppl ‘d rather castrate and feed their own intestines. It doesn’t help that he’s an idiot. ‘ve been fighting with him trying to get him to pay the damages the court declared and he’s been jerking us around- I shall spare you the gory details. Anyway, now he’s fucking FLYING out here tomorrow to give us (me) the payment in cash. Don’t ask, just don’t. Yeah, and he refuses to understand the concept of ‘it’s Saturday.’ He wants us to go down to the courthouse or the police station or the solicitor’s or the bank and we keep telling him none of these places are open on Saturdays, least ‘round here they’re not (yes, I live in BFE, actually, BFE is an upgrade). *head desk* So yeah, fun day for Mys tomorrow. Grrrrrr.

Ohh, fandom obsessing… you know how I read Island t’other day, well, I keep having bloody scenes randomly playing out in my head (like literally ‘ll be watching something else and my mind wanders for two seconds and there, boom, snapshot from scene X) and it’s BLOODY ARSE DISTURBING!!!!!! I know I have what could be considered by some to be an absolutely, undeniably unhealthy obsession, but still- do not want! ‘m gonna get enough once it actually gets here, I don’t need my brain throwing possible interpretations into my mind in full Technicolor! It wasn’t even that good!!!!!!! *rolls eyes*

Random- I find way too much amusement in ancient “Man on the Mountain” assassin!vamp teasing almost as ancient vamp!Lance and calling him Lance-baby. It’s cute, I want to pinch his cheeks, lol.

Anyway, I need to actually get back to doing this beta that I kept being too emo meltdown girl erm, distracted to work on properly and making myself go work on the merlin_land challenges ‘ve been avoiding though I think I will continue to play avoidy with them until tomorrow- see subdued, since when is it hard for me to rant over there, really, since when!?!?!?! *considers having head examined... again*

And I saw this over at silkmoth101’s journal and well, book memes, film memes, and psych memes are weaknesses, lol.

Introspective

You like your own company; you're a very interesting person. Tracking your own mental processes, knowing what you're thinking and why you do what you do, is important to you. Often, what's going on in your mind is more compelling than what's going on outside. For the most part, those with a high score on the "introspective" trait enjoy reading, taking long walks, learning new things, and other solitary activities.

You are not someone who is constantly looking to be among a group of friends; you never feel bored when you are by yourself.


Aesthetic

You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you're proud of it. Those with a high score on the "aesthetic" trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.

You don't think it's pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You're not one of those who believe it doesn't matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.


Intellectual

You are thoughtful, rational, and comfortable in the world of ideas. People find you interesting to talk to. You're the living embodiment of the saying "You learn something new every day." In general, those with a high score on the "intellectual" trait are employed in such fields as teaching and research, and are enthusiastic about reading, foreign films, and classical music.

You do not avoid abstract conversation, experimenting with new ideas, or studying new things. It bores you to stick to the straight and narrow of what you already know.


Original

You are constantly coming up with new ideas. For you, the world as it exists is just a jumping-off place; what's going on inside your mind is often more interesting than what's going on outside.

You don't feel that the road to success is to be a realist and stick to the program; you never stop yourself from coming up with new ideas or telling the world what you're thinking about.


Understanding

You are willing to take the time to find out what's going on with other people, especially if they're in distress. You're a good listener, you don't criticize, and you offer unbiased, respectful, honest advice when it's requested. With a high score on the "understanding" trait, it is likely that you are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.

You don't feel the need to impose your standards on others or say things that, even though true, cause pain.


Curious

You like to get to the bottom of things. You're not content knowing what someone did; you want to know why they did it.

You don't simply take things as they are and move on; you're not content skimming along on the surface; you don't feel you're wasting time by digging for the meaning of things.


Organized

You like to think a task through before you embark on it. If it's the slightest bit complicated, you make a list (even if it's only in your mind) and methodically work your way through it. When you have a goal in mind, you're not satisfied until you reach it.

You are not one of those people who ignore the details, and you don't understand how anyone can get anything accomplished without thoughtful planning ahead of time.


Creative

You are good at solving problems, coming up with original ideas, and seeing connections between things, connections that most other people miss. People with a high score on the "creative" trait often are employed in such fields as finance and scientific research, and enjoy avant garde and classical music as well as literary fiction and scholarly non-fiction.

You do not shun abstractions and concepts in favor of the concrete and tangible.


Astute

You are a quick study. You generally don't need to have things explained to you more than once. When presented with a problem, you will often have an instant understanding of where to look for the solution.

You do not take your sweet time when presented with a new task to complete or problem to solve. You don't avoid assignments that require you to learn new skills.


Reserved

You are somewhat shy, or at least unwilling to spend all your time socializing. With you it's true that "still waters run deep," which is why many of your acquaintances never get to know you well.

You are not always ready to talk at the drop of a hat. Whether you're in the office or at a party, you're not likely to be found gabbing away in the middle of a group of people.


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*points* testy thing is here, erm, there, oh click the linky thing, lol
Personality Patterns


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Comments

[mulder200.livejournal.com]

So it’s official, I dropped out of the BB… ‘m trying not to feel like a, I don’t know, not exactly a loser ‘cause I know there’s no reason to feel that way.

Ah! *hugs* You're not a loser. You just know your limits that's all.

[heavenlyxbodies.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks, hun, I know that in my head, but it helps to hear it. :)