heavenlyxbodies: (Merlin donkey!Arthur invalid)
Well,I was planning on doing a nice dumping post in the next few days, but this little tidbit could not be contained...

IT'S FUCKING OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*dances madly*

That was one of the most horrible and excruciating things I have ever suffered through. I mean, seriously awful. We're talking driving you out of fandom awful. I have a WIP I plan to finish, a colab with Arthur for a comm, and I plan to finish out the Silence!verse, but that's it, no more. At least, that's the plan.
Now, don't get me wrong my Merlin muses haven't been truly inspired lately, so I was thinking of putting it on the back burner as it were. But this horrible experience just killed what I had left. If that is the state of the fandom these days then I don't want to be part of it. Note, I am talking about the ppl, not the fic. I mean, 99% of it wasn't anything I would normally read, but you write or do art and have the guts to put it out there I'm not gonna call you to the carpet unless you specifically ask my opinion (though honestly overall if that was an accurate set of exemplars for the fandom then I grieve for it), but no, it was the ppl, the experience. Yeah, the challenges were crap and mundane and nothing really inspiring, but... the ppl... UGH! Rude, clique-ish, and unwelcoming. And sometimes just plain spiteful. I don't wanna be active in a fandom like that. I prefer my fandoms to be supportive and friendly.

And I'm sorry to any of you (ie Cheeky) who might be reading this who actually tried- thank you.

And Mr. [personal profile] neuroticnick, not like I expect you to see this, but I have held my tongue for 2 weeks and now it must be said, you are a total douche! Seriously, fine if a fic doesn't float your boat, tickle your fancy, or in any other way 'do it' for you, but you don't, you just don't go out of your way to diss it in the fucking results post!!!!! That's just wrong... and cruel. And in response from #6, I'm sorry if writing fic that was more complicated than a "Dick and Jane" book is above your comprehension levels. I would suggest enrolling in some adult education classes, perhaps.

Okay, I feel better now. Now off to find some nice violence and homicide!
heavenlyxbodies: (pretty gothboy is pretty- 2)
Guess what!?! On the weekend of Midsummer, the bloody bus ppl go on strike! Now, I wouldn't really care, I mean, not as in get upset over it, they're just doing their thing and these things happen. I say wouldn't because, yes, the trek to the store and back is uber annoying and lugging 50lbs of groceries home with you isn't my idea of fun, but hey, downtown Seattle not like I never walked up to Capital Hill or off to the Larry's past the Space Needle, but like I said, weekend of Midsummer, hottest part of the year basically... so not of the good. I will spare you the gory details and the exploits that followed my arrival home and skip to the part that is pissing me off... I have not stopped sweating, I can't cool down, I took a bloody cold bath and I am still sweating!!!!!! Now, again, that in and of itself isn't pissing me off, but getting constantly gripped at because, "I don't see what problem you people have with sweating," that is making me want to knock heads. If I hear her tell me one more time how sweating is a good thing I may not be responsible for my actions. I am from the fucking SOUTH! I know what sweating is and does and I also know damn, well, like any Southerner over the age of, oh, 10 does, that the point of sweating is to cool the body, so sweating and having it evaporate is of the good, it means it is doing its job, but sweating and sweating and sweating without the evaporation, you know sweating the proverbial buckets, without end is sooooooooooooooooooooooo very NOT of the good. So forgive me if I am concerned that I am literally dripping sweat- it is not bloody healthy!

Insult to injury... or maybe injury to insult under the circumstances... a few days ago my jaw started hurting, right near the tooth they are doing the root canal on, which also happens to be one of the back bottom ones that feels the pressure when I have an ear infection. I've been trying to figure out if it's my ear or my jaw and if it's my jaw if it's from grinding my teeth (I'm a world class tooth grinder) or if there's something wrong with the tooth they've been working on. And today, hell day that it is I haven't been able to get it to stop hurting, feels like someone's hammering an ice pick into my jaw. :/ I tried heat on it, which helped a little, I tried cold, which didn't, have taken something like 1200mg of ibuprofen and nothing- until, I fixed myself a cuppa coffee, and kinda let that roll around in my mouth and over the tooth... finally, finally, it's down to a little above a dull throb. So yeah, sweating unhealthily, trying to OD on ibuprofen (thank gods I know how nigh on impossible that is), and having the kind of pain that makes your eye hurt, is making me ready to either kill or die.

I would say more, some good-ish stuff, fun stuff, weird stuff, but right now I hurt and She's trying to push me over the edge, so you get the murder-death-kill version, but I'll try to make a happier post over the weekend, get some of the good out there with the bad. :D
heavenlyxbodies: (Merlin Merlin don't fuck with me)
You know, I kinda hate the missus some times. She knows how I feel about politics. I was around politics A LOT when I was younger and I've been involved in more than my share of campaigns/protests/marches/ etc... So I know politics. I understand them. I hate them. I am disheartened and disillusioned on top of being naturally cynical and pessimistic.
Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to understand this. She wants me to explain why this or that happens and why the gov't works the way it does, so I tell her. I explain in great detail. I draw diagrams and try to explain the electoral college and the difference between local, state, and federal gov'ts.
So why is it she gets mad at me when the shit hits the fan with the US gov't. It's not my fault, there's nothing I can do about it, and all it's going to do by pestering me and demanding answers from me is make me angry and sad and want to hit things. It's not that I don't care okay, it is that I don't care, but I don't care because if I do bad things will happen- I spent years with psychosomatic bruises on my arms because of this shit (see what happens to you when you spend an entire school year with the favourite pastime for third period math is to see how many times they can punch the weird kid, who makes the mistake of making her political views known, without the teacher catching on), so yeah I avoid it... I still get them if I get too into this shit, they don't come as bad as they use to, but they still come and for days my arms will hurt and throb because of it, but back the fuck off! It's not MY fault. And I CAN'T do ANYTHING about it!!! Yes, it sucks, yes, it's horrible, yes, it's going to make life for the world fucked up. But stop acting like I can do anything about it!

ETA- Now, she mad because I got pissy over her hounding me about it! *head desk and repeat*

heavenlyxbodies: (SPN pain)
It really shouldn't bother me so much... going to check on the site, I mean, but it does. It's like the closest thing I have to maternal instincts I guess, I feel like a parent who can on occasion glimpse their baby, but never really see it. It's stupid I know, but there it is. *whimpers*
Between that stupid move, the fact that almost every fic I've tried to read in the last three days has been stealth fallen!Cas fic (as if fallen!Cas fic wasn't bad enough! *growls*), and I'm having one of those angry/crying PMS months, I'm about ready to kill!

Despite all that I'm actually in a fairly good mood, just uber touchy- and it is so not helping that Dott is catching up to Robertson... it's gonna be a long night, esp with the lack of chocolate in sight, lol.


heavenlyxbodies: (Default)


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