So, I get this e-mail last night about the reworking of the LAS comms and… and… and… angry? pissed? FUMING? Yes, I think all of those apply. Ohhh, seething, that’s a good all-round word for me right now. I mean, gods! I understand the logic, but damn-it! I signed up for one comm, one!!!! I know I’m not gonna get anywhere with it, so ‘s not that. I just… if I wanted to play in the other fandoms, I woulda signed on for them, I didn’t. I don’t want to play there. I want to play where I know what I’m working with. I chose THAT comm because it had the most to offer for me. I wanted to play around in some old never really played in fandoms of mine and I was gonna get to and not be put up with all those other more mainstream/American shows. I was LOOKING FORWARD TO IT! Not like I expected ppl to know some of them, the shows, even in that setting, but it sure as hells improved the odds of acceptance- not to be confused with appreciation or anyone actually liking my fic, but at least accepting and possibly even being aware of the fandoms!
I was so good last night. I was calm and nice and didn’t completely go off. But today, well, today, I’M FUCKING PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In between bouts of utter fury, I had to decide if I was gonna do the header challenge at merlin_land
, or rather if I was gonna turn in my pathetic excuse for a header… anyway, in a fit of ‘oh, fuck it, today already sucks’ I submitted it… umm, ‘Yay, me’???????
I also wound up making icons, not related to the challenge just ohhh, pretty must make icon. ‘m not sure what if anything I will be doing with them ‘cause well it’s not like I want to use them all or anything, though I did add a couple new ones :) I still want iconage for my OT3, lol. One day, it’ll happen. *nods sagely*
Anyway, after all that I needed to calm down or try to reach something resembling calm, soooooo I went looking for fic. I even read some. Got blindsided by a modern!AU, read some truly meagre offerings- they weren’t bad, they just weren’t good, and the one that woulda been good got detracted from because it was unrequited which, yeah way to go on the cheering up/calming down front- NOT. Then in a last ditch attempt, as in the last of the recent fic I hadn’t read, I start this thing that even though it’s premise is so-so the author actually put some thought into authenticity and such and we all know how much that does it for me, lol, so I had if not high then slightly above average hopes… well, it wasn’t slash, wasn’t even pre-slash really, and I see through slash-coloured glasses, so yeah… anyway, it gets to the end and you think it just might save itself and, well it doesn’t, but even before I got there they… this author… they go to the trouble of trying for some level of authenticity and then they SAY MERLIN’S OLDER THAN ARTHUR!!!!!!!!! *head desk* I mean, seriously!!!! As if it wasn’t assumed beforehand, 2x13 proves it! I mean how much brains does it take to say Balinor escaped to Ealdor during the Great Purge, the Great Purge started after Arthur was born, therefore Balinor arrived in Ealdor AFTER Arthur was born, therefore his SON (ie Merlin) born of a woman he MET in Ealdor cannot possibly be older than Arthur!!!!! *screams and yanks hair*
What is it with ppl making these obvious mistakes?!?!?! *grumbles about Reid remembering everything he hears- idiots*
I mean, I try to forgive the breeches thing ‘cause well, it’s a common enough misconception, and an understandable one, it grates on my nerves and sometimes it does just ruin a fic, but I try damn-it. But simple facts, facts that you don’t have to research or check references for simple ‘hello, the show said…’ facts- how do you get those wrong?!?!?!
I also realized I’ve all but stopped readin Dean/Cas fic, which really sucks because I could really do with a Dean/Cas fix… I just don’t seem to have the patience for all the Fallen/human!Cas or the HAUs or the other AUs- Hunter/angel is it that complicated? And Spike has fucking FANGS! *grrrrrrr*
Yes, well, the day got worse (and has yet to truly improve)… grocery stores and forgotten items and misunderstood shopping lists- and ‘m still paying for that…
Oh and I realized I forgot to take my meds last night, so yeah, extra shitty...
eyes popping out of head/floating like bloody fishing bobs-check
memory totally switched off-huh, oh, umm, check?
jitters and general nervy-ness-check, check, and double check
times like this I really feel the whole "cure worse than the disease" thing *glowers*
On a lighter, slightly psychotic note, I’ve discovered I can no longer watch Merlin without my brain, and on occasion hand, rushing off to make note of ‘ohhh, that would make a great gif’ scenes, lol.
And I know I’ve said it before, I just can’t believe it and I find it kinda disturbingly adorable, but HS has the BIGGGGGGGGGGEST crush on Muerhlen, lol. She’s so cute sometimes, yes, you heard right I said the Evil One was cute- she came running into the kitchen t’other day ‘cause “Muerhlin’s on barnkanalen!!!” (and yes, ‘m well aware that I butchered the Swedish language :p~) at which point she half drags me into the living room to prove this, lololol.
And gods, I wrote fic… I wrote pauldron!fic (not to be confused with the pauldron!fic)… I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut, lol. Merlin Wankfest- I wound up filling my own damn prompt! *head desk* Yes, ‘m going to be going on about this for the foreseeable future, lol. Yeah, and I kinda sorta not exactly agreed to, but well the seed was planted and it’s currently festering and trying to keep root, it’s already taken root, I just keep trying to dislodge it, lol. Yeah, well, seed- teeth… Bradley’s teeth… Colin… yeah, do the math- I’m so going to hells if I actually let this fic come to fruition… I already wrote bloody modern!AU what are you ppl trying to do to me!?!?!?!?!?!
And gods, the pauldron!fic, I've decided to change a rather integral part of it which means I need to basically write a story within the fic to be told as a performance by a minstrel/troubadour... practical upshot- 'm now reading Beowulf and The Canterbury Tales after taking a crash course in Welsh and Gaelic bardic verse and giving up and settling for iambic verse and vaguely appropriate wordage, hence the Beowulf and Chaucer... on an unrelated note, I've also found and begun reading Le Morte d'Arthur on-line... I find it strangely relaxing, esp consideriing my opinion of Legend or more specifically Legend characters.
Okay, calmer now, sorry ‘bout that. Now, it seems the next challenge is up at merlin_land
(ohhh, beware incoming gifs, lol), and I have fic to beta, so I shall go attempt to channel what’s left of this angry energy into something more productive.