heavenlyxbodies: (Default)
So the other day I got it in my head to go find some nice Nick/Greg fic... and I ignored it. Then the next day I got it in my head to go find some nice Nick/Greg fic... and I ignored it. Then the next day I got it in my head to go find some nice Nick/Greg fic... Then the next day- well, you see where this is going. Point is that after two weeks I finally gave in and went prowling around for that and my other more secret slashtastic CSI loves. And I'm starting to remember why I stopped reading it to begin with. It's hard to focus on the relationship when you're constantly going 'oh, he did not just do that- protocol, man, protocol' or 'but that's not proper chain of custody' or 'never happen, this is not CSI Miami' or 'come on, contaminating the crime scene much', ad nauseum... I know suspension of disbelief, artistic license, and all that, but for gods' sakes, can they at least stop contaminating the scenes!!!!!!!!!!!! *head desk and repeat*

Fic is being ficcy, and even the one that needs to be on the front burner is shoved a bit to the back atm because not one, but BOTH my teams made the post season!!!!!!! *dances and squees* So yes, the Braves and the Cards both won their divisions. This makes Mys a very happy person. And a rather distracted and exhausted one, too, lol, but it is all in a good cause. :D

I have continued my program of wrenching the telly back into my grubby little hands at night now that Fuckboy's gone and HRH is off with her friends most of the night. I am slowly kinda making some headway in my CM that I missed and am picking out sporadic eps of CSI... and dude, words I never ever want to hear, and words that have been a big part of why I have avoided the last few seasons, even getting past the lack of Grissom- 'you (Sara) and Grissom are married'... I swear I nearly puked, and considered throwing things. And can I just remind ppl that (Arthur don't look, babe) while I am a slasher by nature I am also a devout believer in Grissom/Lady H (and Cath/Warrick, but that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish), so don't go givin' me any lip about just because it's not a slashy pairing blahblahblah. GSR kills, man, end of story. ANYWAY, I was just trying to say good on me taking back my tv time, rawr!

I got caught up with SPN a couple weeks ago. And can I just say DAAAMMMNNN. I... well, we all know I have strong feelings on certain SPN related things, but fuck me if Carver didn't go and mange to hit my squick in such a way that I'm jonesing for more anyway. Unfuckin' believable. But gods, it's just so fucking good to have my show back, and watchable, and like a series, not just these fits and spurts of program.

Alright laundry calls, and CSI after that then hopefully some CM or NCIS. *purrs*

ETA: Oh, lookit! I changed my default icon! I've only had the other one for like 3 years since I opened this LJ and another year or so on my old SPN LJ. But yeah, I heard this in that ep and was just like, GUH! and knew I had to icon it, and it seemed a fitting transition, so yeah. *happy*
heavenlyxbodies: (JM poodles)
'scuse the incoming capslock and ginormous font, but those who know me will understand and won't judge. ;)

FABRIC STORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, you heard right. After some 7+ years Mys has found a fabric store in Sweden. A real, proper fabric store. Not one of those drapery stores with a depressing selection of formal fabrics and way too much yarn. No, an honest to gods fabric store with normal everyday fabrics and notions and PATTERNS!!!!!! Real McCall's and Butterick (and Vogue *bleh*) pattern catalogues, too! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Mys is happy.
Now the only question is where to start. Mawahahahahahaha.

HS's birthday is coming up and it has been decided that I am making her birthday cake this year... she wants a bloody Spongebob cake, one of those at least partially 3D ones. *head desk* Well, guess how I'm spending my Saturday and Sunday! Yay! Not. Lol. Oh, well, I can use a challenge... okay, well, I'm trying here, yeah. :P

Speaking of challenges, I am now up to 5 BBs and 2 challenges/exchanges and 1 exchange dangling in front of me going "We have coooookkkkkkiiiiieeeeeessssssss", but for now that one at least is being put in the wait for it column. And I have already decided I'm knocking off one of the BBs, and no, I don't feel bad about it because I signed up for two in the same BB 'cause I wasn't sure which would want to get written fully expecting to cut out one of them. I am worried about the 2 challenges/exchanges. 1 is just not going, it stalled a month ago and is only giving me death spasms now. The other I just have no idea what to do with the prompts involved. My big BB has taken a turn for the headachy; it stalled out for a few days there and has been going slowly to boot, but I think that's got a lot to do with the part I'm at, there's a lot of detail or at least a lot of things I have to make sure match up or don't contradict each other or canon. But I got in early on the BBs so rough drafts aren't due until January for the earliest one.

My game is already starting with the headaches, but I expected that since Sensei wasn't gonna be around. I just hate calcs and trying to make myself heard and trying not to kill my poor thieves, while trying not to kill my KD-mates at the same time, lol. But last war went well, and I think most of my calcs have worked out right, so yay me. :p And hopefully tomorrow I can find someone who needs to be relieved of their gold so it can be used more productively in training my troops and converting my build. A plan, I has it. ;)

I've also been stealing back my tv time and getting more regular about it, too. Of course they went and stopped showing NCIS right when I was getting in a rhythm so I'm trying to suss the scheduling out again, but I think I'm getting it. Gonna test my theory today.
Yes, I'm still on my movie kick, though I have been expanding into suspense thrillers, so more toys to play with. I just finished catching up with my H5-0 and MM and I have 4 eps left of S8 of SPN and can I just say In Carver We Trust :D:D:D:D:D:D:D My show's back.

And my most recent victim has just finished making it's way into my evil little hands, so I am going to post this and go watch cheesy sci-fi/fantasy movies.
heavenlyxbodies: (Default)
Joining and more to the point getting e-mail alerts for new entries on [community profile] bigbangindex was the WORST and BEST thing I have done in ages.

I've just signed up for my 4th... and am looking longingly at a 5th. Somebody save me!
heavenlyxbodies: (Default)
Alrighty, I think I promised you lot a more positive post over last weekend and ya didn’t get it (not that any of you are actually chomping at the bit for my odd posts anyway, lol), so here’s a bit of everything. :)

Arthur and I joined the [community profile] summerpornathon and I am failing in a spectacular fashion, lol. Yeah, yeah, I know, I have no self-esteem and am being too hard on myself, yadayadayada. Don’t worry Arthur is giving me the requisite talks and prods. And I haven’t runoff, so that’s something. (carefully omits this it’s only the second week into the challenge and plenty of time left for Mys to freak out and run) Of course, we kinda feel like odd men, erm, women out, so there’s a bit of solidarity involved, too.

The lovely tooth they started the root canal on got infected, got an emergency appt and antibiotics, but my new doc was going on vacation and couldn’t see me until late August, and because of stupid, stupid rules none of the other docs could see me as anything but a same day emergency appt. *head desk* But like I said I got antibiotics and thankfully my doc got a cancellation and the doc that saw me threw such a stink that she pretty much HAD to call and offer it to me. Now, if I could just stop having a reaction to the antibiotics, lol. In related dental news, I was eating an Oreo and the tooth directly above the infected one broke off, right at the gum line and just shy of straight through the middle. I’m hoping she’ll fix both of them Wednesday… otherwise I may have to hurt someone.

Apparently my brain has decided it wants to revert to the mid 90’s. I dl’d yet another of the series I used to watch, though this one much less, but that was a timing thing. I also named HRH’s guppies… yes, yes, I did. And I am leaving it at that.

Writing! There is writing being done. :D I figured out how to get around the damn tentacles on my bingo card! It’s h/c so it doesn’t have to be sexual, doesn’t even have to be shippy, but come on… anyway, tentacles, non-sexual tentacles… CTHULHU!!!!!!!! And I already have Wings Over Innsmouth out there, I could do a sequel to that, I even have a cheese worthy title- Shadows Over Sioux Falls. *makes happy Drusilla-esque noises*
And the big One, it’s definitely on. Got a couple thou already written and I haven’t even gotten past the first part. I’m seriously thinking about looking to see if there’s a Big Bang out there for this, I mean I seldom have ideas that I know are gonna be big ones, so I might oughta try to take advantage. Actually, I think I will do that… if you’ll excuse me. *scurries off*

*runs back in* I’ll try to update more, might actually manage it with the pornathon going. :D
Laters *goes in search of big bang comms*
heavenlyxbodies: (fandom)
So, yes, as horrifying a concept as it may be, Mys is still alive and kicking, slightly more with the kicking than before, if truth be told.

Kitchen sink, you say? Yes, I happen to have one right here. )

Anywho, I have fic to read, shows to watch, fic to WRITE (lookit, I can say that without wanting to cry or rip my hair out, much, lol), and the Great Fandom Repost to work on, so I am shutting up now and going to poke this TS fic with a stick and make sure an anthropologist falls out from under it and not a cop then maybe finish up the little drabble I’m working on for Arthur
heavenlyxbodies: (Misha/Jensen kiss)
I got season 1 of Legacy!!! *bounces* It is currently holding a place of honour next to my SPN DVDs (the only boxed sets I have that I keep separate from the family piles). With season 1 I got chili! This may not seem a big deal, but it is my favourite chili on the planet and you can normally only find it in the South, so yeah, it's like gold, lol. I grossed out the members of the Clan that were here by making chili cheese fries for dinner. Pfft, more for me. :P~
I went off and bought myself something else- I swear I haven't spent this much money on myself in YEARS- I broke down and bought S7 of SPN... it was cheap... and I have 1-6, and I am hoping (though I haven't had the nerve to look and with me not speaking to Fanboy I don't have my usual supply of tidbits) Carver saves my show, which means I'll want S8 and I just can't have the one without the other. What, it's Mys logic, shush.

Pup has fallen in love with "Fifty Shades of Grey"... and she keeps trying to freak me out with, umm, topics... *sighs* Some ppl just never learn.

You don't want to know about the game Arthur has me playing... sometimes I don't want to know, lol. But it does bring out the old evil Mys, and I kinda miss her, lol.

My hand is buggered. The eczema was acting up and chapping because of the weather, but I was handling it. Today, I had to actually give up and fully bandage it, it's bleeding too much and I can't move it... that's why my typing is so bad (though I hope I catch everything, lol).

I have taken a break from my movie/series watching for a bit; got a bunch of beta stuff to do and that's taking priority.
On a related note (not that many of you will care), I have started to edit (catch all those grammar and spelling things that slipped through the first time) and repost my old fic over on AO3. So far, so good. I've got about a third of my Spander stuff up and nothing has incurred anybody's wrath and it's getting hits, not many, but it's Spander on AO3, not exactly the most prolific place for it. Once I finish the betaing I have I think I'll start on some of my SPN... of course that brings up the odd question of whether or not to rename Nonci, since I realized after (months after) that that was the perfect form, I mean, it means the same, but it's a less used form of the word for that... you know like something that can mean "it" or "you" but more often means one over the other. I probably won't change it, though, because I like the flow of it, still it is something to consider, lol.

Last night HRH found more of those inappropriate "friends" and convos on HS' phone. *sighs* But no, don't listen to me, don't check her phone every now and then or block her from Skype or watch her FB, no pls don't... *head desk*

Now, I am off to my other game to try and help start a war. :D



PS- Don't ask me why or exactly how, but I feel like my icon right now (at least the one on LJ). :D :D :D
heavenlyxbodies: (Default)
Pup and I went to the couples counseling the other day… it went okay, mostly background stuff, so hard to tell how it’s gonna go, but it had all good signs, so we’ll see.
I also got the results from the psych eval… and yes, I have yet another dx I am now known as Princess BiPolar, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Banana Fanna Asperger the Third, but you can call me Dot. (I know bad joke, but it’s always what I think of when I start rattling off my dx’s, and even there I couldn’t fit in the social and agoraphobia, lol). So yeah, lots of fun there.

I also did something I just don’t do, no matter how badly the muses and life are behaving- I dropped out of not just one, but both of my Christmas exchanges, incl [profile] deancas_xmas, which I’ve completed every year it’s been around, even the two years they gave me squick city prompts/likes/dislikes. Seriously have you ppl seen how many times I use the words “happy endings” and “I don’t write fallen/human!Cas”… I repeat the later a minimum of 5 times in my ‘dislikes’ and ‘what I won’t write’ sections, each, you would think they’d take the hint, lol. Anyway, I’m trying (and failing) not to get uber depressed about that. Doesn’t help that I’ve barely written more than a sentence or two in something like five or six months. :/
It also doesn’t help that I started to get a bunch of favourites on some of my old Dean/Cas fic (usually happens when the season starts and during hellatus) and I wound up going back over some of them and came to the very depressing conclusion that they sucked; which is extra depressing ‘cause I really enjoy(ed) writing Dean/Cas and those fics… right now I have the urge to delete them all from existence.
*sighs* Sometimes, esp lately, I think maybe I should just give up fandom altogether; I mean, seriously thinking about it, not just those bouts of self-doubt that I think all writers (and everyone else) go through from time to time (we just seem to do it more often, lol).
On the upside someone fav’d a story of mine on WWOMB that I couldn’t remember, so I went to look and I actually liked it. On the downside, it was a fic written for a friend, who isn’t a friend anymore, almost an enemy you could say, I usually settle for backstabbing bitch, though, in a matter of a couple hours, in a fandom I don’t write in, for a pairing that I have major misgivings about. *sighs* And the damn thing was actually pretty good. :/
I still feel like deleting everything or at least denying the existence of it all, remove any trace of my existence, change my penname to anon or something and erase all my details and put my fic comm on lockdown.

All the movie reminiscing lead to my deciding to follow a whim and see if I could actually find all 4 seasons of PtL. I’ve tried on occasion with little to no luck… but this time… this time I found all 4. :D By the time I actually post this they will be in my grubby little hands and the Clan may not see me for many, many days… or at least they wouldn’t if I had my way, lol.
NB- Since I started rewatching Legacy, I am having the subtle strings of an urge to find SPN/PtL crossovers, even though I sincerely doubt that any exist… and before you start suggesting it, no, I do not feel the urge/motivation/inspiration or otherwise to rectify this grievous oversight. Btb, if anyone knows of any said crossovers, even gen… maybe even het if it’s Derek/Rachel, I can stomach Derek/Rachel… let me know, PPPPPPLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSS.

Right now, I’m supposed to be fixing this blasted dress for HRH. I don’t mind really. I just hate it when she asks me to take something up and it winds up with me doing things like add sleeves. I hate sleeves. Sleeves are the spawn of the devil. Esp putting sleeves on a dress not meant to have sleeves without the arm of the person said sleeve is supposed to go on, after having had to do rather large adjustments of both the breastline and the shoulders. *sighs* But I’ll get it done. I found an old pattern with a basic sleeve that I’m altering to hopefully fit the bill. Yay-rah.
Oh, and Fanboy thinks I’m talking to him again. I fed him the other day and now he thinks we’re back on speaking terms ‘cause I said like three words to him ("take," "here," and "yes" I believe). Thing is about a week ago I thought I might actually be there, but then I started having nightmares again. So far no nightmares, and I’ve stopped tensing so hard I hurt every time he comes in the room. To his credit he’s not pushing, just being rather obvious with the talking. We’ll see.

You guys know how I admit to liking weird music, and not necessarily weird in its nature, but weird in the hide-it-under-the-bed-in-an-old-shoebox-so-nobody-knows-you-actually-like-that way. I try very hard to let my guard slip here, since I can’t hear the ridicule or see the horrified condescending looks (did I mention they said I had marked levels of paranoia during the eval?). Anyway, every now and then I actually get in a Christmasy mood, music-wise, and I’ve been slowly, moreso the last couple years, but still pretty slowly working on gathering a collection of Christmas music- and really trying to locate songs that you never knew who they were by or rarely heard when they weren’t being sung by your family is a pain in the ass. But anyway, some of the stuff is just, you know, standard generic holiday, snow frolicking, well-wishing, blah, blah, blah stuff and some of it’s more uh, religious, for lack of a better word; not because I’m religious in that sense, hello, pagan, but it’s just the stuff you grew up with and just because something is ‘religious’ in nature doesn’t mean it’s not pretty or enjoyable. Well, like I said I’ve been working on getting a collection together and have finally managed a small selection of stuff I grew up with, and a lot of it I’ve even managed to identify the artist involved- I am unabashedly proud of this accomplishment, lol. And well, the other day I was cooking, baking actually, and was playing my music… it took all of about five minutes before Pup was ragging on me about it being all “hallelujah this and hallelujah that”- not my fault she doesn’t like Handel. Yeah, well, she’s not letting me live it down either… ‘s hard enough to get me to admit what stuff I like, esp when it’s something I feel self-conscious about, I really don’t need her of all ppl making me feel like shit for it. *sighs*
heavenlyxbodies: (SPN smite)
Okay, I wanna prepare you guys, just so no one has a heart attack or anything, but today's post (or at least this post) is getting back to my fanish roots- I have finally finished watch S7 of SPN and I am here to rant about discuss it, or at least throw my opinions onto the bonfire.

opinions to be thrown on bonfire )

P.S. That scene when Dean gives Cas back his trench... priceless, probably the best thing about the entire season.
heavenlyxbodies: (SPN trenchedcrusader)
Well, then...head shrinkage and other headache inducing activities :P )

I've taken a small break from my horror movie fest to make room for a new found guilty pleasure... 2 full seasons in less than a week, obsessive much? Lol. And since I'm almost caught up with that I bit the bullett and started watching the rest of S7 of SPN... it's pretty bad. I mean, it's like... you know those baaaaaaad filler eps that would sometimes sneak in during Kripke's reign? It's like episode upon episode of that. It's tripe, and ooc. OOC! How the hells do you go OOC in canon!?!?!?!?! *head desk* I so hope Carver is salvaging my show. Gods know I have more faith in him that Gamble (and that was true before she utterly destroyed it her reign). *grumblemrphlegrumble*

And for a bit of good silliness, Steve McGarrett and Castiel are currently in a no holds barred cage fight for my soul!
The betting windows are still open, place your bets while you can. :P
heavenlyxbodies: (JM Burundi)
Good news-

It looks like they finally fixed my SSD! Yay, I'm crazy again!!!! Seriously, all it took was sending the paperwork in three times to two different offices, getting ignored by my caseworker and have her refuse to arrange to talk to me (or to my mom who has my POA for just such occasions *head desk*) and tell me I need to talk to another office, but not give me the contact info, and a nasty note sent in with the last set of paperwork saying just that... but I still haven't received any notification, just a magically appearing deposit in my bank account from Soc Sec. *sighs* One day I will figure it out, but not today; today I am just accepting something good happening and not looking at it too closely.
On a related note, Mys went shopping! And yes, this is Mys' idea of a shopping spree. I bought a new backpack, I've had my other one for 8 or 9 years and it was secondhand when I got it, lol. I bought new shoelaces from the place that has the shoelaces that I don't kill within a month, and insoles for my boots. A new writing pad, the other one only had about 5 blank pages left and considering it's gotten me through 3 big bang fics over the course of two years and a handful of other smaller fics I needed to take notes on, I didn't feel too guilty about it. I also bought a pen! I finally found a fine point blue Pilot, not the kind I wanted, but considering how hard it is to find a fine point pen of any kind around here, I'll take it, lol. Oh, and socks! I was down to my last two pair from the ones I got winter before last. We're planning to go up to Stockholm this week and I thoroughly plan to buy books at the Sci-Fi Bookstore, now whether or not I actually find anything I haven't read or have is another matter entirely, lol. And there is an outside chance I may see about getting new boots, the ones I have I got two years ago and after two Swedish winters they're showing their age, and some new jeans, I'm down to one pair and they're, uhh, whatdya call the ones that only come to your calf? Whatever, it's a pair of those that I've had to patch up twice already, of course, I've had them since before I moved here, so they're doing pretty good for being about 6 or 7 years old, lol. See, I'm really good at this spending spree thing, *tongue firmly planted in cheek* lol. It's the one cliché thing about BP I don't really suffer from; don't get me wrong, I can go on a binge just like anyone else, but that's the thing it's like anyone else, not like someone in the throes of a mania, or maybe it is... it's the one of the only times I'll actually say I want something, of course, most ppl just take that as me getting past my other dx's... so few docs understand the difference, but that's another tale.

I've gotten previews of some of the art for Battle Hymns!!!! It's brilliant! *hugs art* And she's trying to do something from the scene(s) Mia and I asked for (nearly impossible in my opinion, so I'm just soaring on the fact that she's trying to do it :D ).

Not so good news-

My blood sugar is all over the place, so the doc is running all sorts of tests, which is good I guess, at least this guy's taking me seriously. I'll know more Monday. *crosses fingers*

I hate my shrink. I've calmed down about the therapy thing, Pup keeps telling me I over-reacted and that he really does want to get me a therapist- nothing I heard said that, but I was already freaking out so I'm trying to at least tell myself I believe her. *sigh* I'm managing to get a 'list' thing together for him- slowly- I just don't see how to make these things "measurable", but I'm trying.

Oh, and I finally started watching S7... only four eps in... and not exactly a happy camper, but I have yet to attack the tv, so it's a start- I'm making Fanboy sit through it with me, which helps, gives me someone to rant at, lol.

Bad news-

I'm 99% sure I'm dropping out of the JLBB, well, the blog!fic one... it's just killing me. Every time I think I'm getting somewhere I go over it and realize it's either utter garbage or taking the story in a direction I don't want to go... I swear I've deleted enough for at least three 10k+ fics. And now I'm trying something a bit different that involves writing blog entries for John, so I went and read over all the entries on the BBC page... my gods, they are AWFUL! I mean seriously, if I was reading that, guh... if it were a fic I would actually stop reading and put the author on my mental 'Do Not Read' list. And do you have any idea how hard it is to mimic that kind of awful writing?!?!?!?! *rocks head in hands* Kill me now, pls...

I have two other birthday fics I'm supposed to be writing and that one *points angrily upwards* is totally fic-blocking me. Grrrr.
Brianna, one of those is yours, and I will get it done if I have to stab the blog!fic through the heart with a nice sharp stake to keep it pinned down and out of my way!

Back to the shrink. He was getting on me about not getting out and walking and stuff like that. Which, I know, walking and exercise are supposed to help with endorphins or whatever it's supposed to release, so to humour him and Pup I've been walking to the store and taking the bus home (I always walk to and from the close store, this is the big one), and walking downtown and back (when I'm coming back and not going to the store)... it's only making me feel worse. I told Pup I was being good and walking places, she was all upset because I wasn't telling her how much better I felt... I told her the truth- I feel worse; drained and stressed out and not so much tired as just uber lethargic with no energy or interest in doing anything. She just glared at me and went back to her writing. *sigh* It's not my fault the 'magic' cure (or aid rather) isn't working and it's not my fault that it's just exacerbating the down I'm already on... Now, I just wonder if the doc'll believe me. :/


.
heavenlyxbodies: (SPN smite)
The road so far... (in which Mys' life feels too much like S3 of SPN, if only in my head)

  • finally get a call back from the psych ward and they give me appt with someone I've never heard of on the 31st

  • get the paper with the doc's name and exact time for the appt and, unless I'm completely off, they book me with a psychologist not a psychiatrist. *head desk* This is useless for me wanting/needing my cocktail messed with.

  • I can barely be bothered with anything, even tumblr

  • when I am over there I wind up all angsty and upset (more than is called for) over three generations of Reichenbach and random acts of Jeremy Brett.

  • I've been working through my Who, and am at, well, the change over from Ten to Eleven... just thinking about it makes me disturbingly weepy

  • it was the SPN finale last night, and damn it, I kinda want to watch it, even though I hear it's big

  • and just now, one of the other players in my game (the only thing I am really being any good at being bothered with 'cause, hey, casting spells and stealing things from ppl makes me happy) has sent what is either a badly worded encouragement or, to my way of thinking right now, insults under a flimsy veil of half-arsed sarcasm.

  • I think I'll just go to bed and cry now.

heavenlyxbodies: (B/C think tank)
So I have this "minor" dental surgery thing tomorrow- they're removing a pocket of infection or something and then chopping off part of the root so they can block it off or somesuch- and I usually take Col with me for distraction purposes... so I come up with the ingenious idea that I just HAVE to put Reichenbach on him... someone explain the logic of that to me, pls?
Anyway, so yeah evil dentist tomorrow. :( I could use some hand-holding, lol. Not that Mys has a fear of dentists or anything (yes, there's a story there, no I won't bother you with it- see I can be totally awesome sometimes :P~), lol. Truth be told this guy's pretty good, he does those important things like tell me what he's doing/going to do before he does it and stops when I ask him to, both of these carry ridiculously high marks. *nods*

I finished sorting out the hodge-podge of notes I had for the blog!fic (and really I need a better name to refer to it as), seven pages in my minuscule henscratch of character psychology and vague plot points/history, that doesn't include the thousand or so words/dialogue I had scratched out. Still, now I just have to convince myself to actually put it together with words and all, well, that and come up with short/basic history for some minor yet pivotal characters... why do I do this to myself? I can't start slow with a couple codas or something nice and simple and schmangsty like I normally would and, no, you don't get to throw Merlin in my face, no, I have ideas. *head desk* And no I don't know if 'm head desking because of the ideas or because I have succumb to the call.

And because I need to say it before I scream, I rrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy HATE my reverseBB... I've tried taking Arthur's advice and saying bugger it and write what I want to write, but I go to type and start second and third and fourth and fifth and you get the idea guessing myself. *sighs* It's not even like I can get Arthur or anybody to look over it, it's all still in my head. Thing is I know exactly where I want it to go and exactly what happened and most of the more general inbetween stuff, I don't think it'll be my best work because it's rather outside my comfort zone, but I think it could be good, maybe even really good, but that all hinges on convincing the words that neither my artist, nor the rest of the world are going to flame me to a fried and darkened pile of ash for it.

And then there's Silence... no real progress on that front, but 've been a bit pre-occupied. 'm still thinking about doing it in small fics instead of one large one, sometimes I just think too much time passes and there's no good, non-mind-numbing way to get that across. *sighs*

I folded and wrote down that scene (or two) that wouldn't get outta my head night before last... it actually made me feel better, lol. I think, until something better comes along, *hint hint* it's going to be my personal fanon (even in all its slashy goodness, lol- but in fairness it wasn't a big kiss just a powerful one, yeah carefully omits the one after that).

Can we tell Mys is avoiding thinking about her dentist appt? But seriously, I'm going to have the scary, scary, scary tooth hacker cut into me and play with my roots and nerve endings and the first thing I think is 'oooh, let's make sure we have Reichenbach to watch/listen to' *head desk* I couldn't be satisfied with TGG on there... or my DCFC which always works miracles on zoning off when they're drilling or the goth/industrial I recently flooded the thing with which would drown out anything they were doing if it was loud enough.

Oh! The Masters started, so far my boys are doing good, just first round and, well, most of them are my boys, but four of my top five are still in and tomorrow I get both O'Sullivan and Roberston matches. *bounces* 've already told the childer that esp when my painkillers wear off anyone who gets between me and my games tomorrow will suffer a very loud and violent death... if they are lucky.

And in a random 'ohh, lookit SPN's on' S3 definitely had the best opening sequence. :) OHHHHHHHHH, it's "Long Distance Call"!!!!!!! Bow at the feet of Rami, lol. :D

Okay, I will stop being random and actually post this... besides, SPN's on! :P~


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heavenlyxbodies: (SPN smite)
Fair warning, I will be spamming today... if you can call three posts spamming...

Spoilers and a mini-rant )


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heavenlyxbodies: (B/C think tank)
It's disturbing to be listening to "Home for Christmas" (not to be confused with "I'll be Home for Christmas") and realize the "home" you want to be at for Christmas isn't the "home" you're at. And it's not exactly like I can tell Pup that, she'd freak and read all sorts of stuff into it. It's just that the Christmas here... isn't. :/

*bounces* I made cheesy graphics for the [livejournal.com profile] merlin_games Christmas thing, they’re here if anyone’s interested. My person wanted the boys and/or knights with Christmas stuff photoshop’ed in. I figured even my meagre skills could manage that. Best part she actually likedl them! *squeaks*

So, I spent most of yesterday listening to Cabin Pressure (‘cause, yes, apparently I have become that much of a git, lol) and for some reason S01E06 had me rolling, literally! Okay, so maybe not literally but I was doubled over in the beating snow getting strange looks from all the other idiots out in the mush of weather. :P Anyway I decided it would be a crime against the laws of nature not to make a sound byte of them singing, so I did. :P~

In other news, I did sing up for that Five Things Bang, *face palm* but just the 5-10k option, so it shouldn't be too much of a headache. And well, I don't write Five Times/Things fic so I thought it might be a change. I just wish the idea I have would LEAVE… I Do Not Want It!!!! ‘m hoping that by the time I actually start it I’ll have another much saner idea, which, seriously, a saner idea wouldn’t be that hard to come up with, hells, I have half of one already sitting on my laptop waiting for me to either finish it or throw it to the wolves. Just want this other idea to get its teeth and claws outta my skin. *grrrrrrr*


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heavenlyxbodies: (fandom)
Fangrrl moment!!!!!!!!
I met Michael Shanks. :) He's sweet, and gorgeous, and just a little twisted...
And this is why Mys should not be allowed to meet ppl, lol )

Other wise it was pretty much what I expected for their version of a con, mainly dealer space and stuff, none of the really fun stuff, but it was still fun and a trip...

~~~

possible spoilers (SPN) )

~~~

To two certain special ppl on my f-list- I hate you. I'm having bunnies! *GRR* Well, one real bunny and a couple bits of short angstiliciousness that keep trying to write themselves in my head. I have a feeling I will be e-mailing one of you, you know who you are, about this in the next few weeks (hopefully you will talk some sense into me *head desk*).

In a related note, Benedict Cumberbatch has the most beautiful voice... it makes makes me all warm and fuzzy- I have added him to my list of ppl I'd listen to read a phone book, lol.

Speaking of I really need to put Dead Beat on Colin to listen to... just wish I had a copy that was chaptered :( and not well, not in two 7 hour blocks, but still, James' voice is worth it (and I love the books anyway, though really WHY did he have to make Thomas and Harry brothers? I mean, my head was all ready to go there, then he does that *piffle* waste of a good pairing that was, lol).

~~~

I think 'm gonna have to withdraw from one of my exchanges... don't wanna, but the words won't come and I don't think my heart is in it :( I even have an idea and it should be easy to bang something out, but every time I open the file it just sits there and taunts me. Not of the good. 'm gonna give it until morning, if nothing comes I'll do the horrible and withdraw... I feel like 'm doing that a lot lately, DNW :((

And now I am going to go fight with printing out these SSDI papers, so I can have a nice panic attack or 50 over that... yes, lovely way to spend my time- 's no wonder the muses are being fickle. *humphs*


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heavenlyxbodies: (Colin Christmas)
*squeaks* ‘m going to a con tomorrow! …or later today, whatever, lol.
Nah, Pup’s sitting at the comp when she says, outta nowhere, ‘there’s a science fiction convention this weekend’ Fanboy and I automatically perk up. ‘Yeah, wha… Shanks is gonna be there and some others’ Of course she barely gets the ‘Shanks’ out before Fanboy and I are sitting straight up and racing for Cas to look up this con, lol.
Turns out Pup had already looked it up… *shakes head* silly woman. Then she gets all uppity ‘cause Fanboy half teasing says he knows what he and I are doing tomorrow. Anyway, next thing I know Pup’s on the phone arranging to change her shift tomorrow and suddenly me, Fanboy, HRH, MM, and Pup are all going to this con. ‘m a bit worried since ‘m not at all sure it’s gonna be what Pup expects and ‘ve never been to this kind of con, so… but still ‘m hoping for good things. (of all the times for my meds to be… and my head, yeah, but still, con and Pup and Fanboy I should feel pretty safe, yeah *keeps repeating until she believes it*)

I’m horrible, ‘ve got less than a day to write a fic and I just don’t know if I can do it… it’s so fucking hard to think around here with all the trash HRH insists on watching and the noise and not being allowed to go hide in the kitchen and just write and block the rest of the world out. (Btb, MM called Pup on that the other day when HRH and Fanboy came back, it felt good to have someone ‘not on my side’ bring it up.)

Yesterday, I realized I had another exchange that I’d been so sick I’d missed the announcements for- thank the gods I was able to beg an extension.

‘ve decided to start leaving stray bunnies here on my journal- don’t worry they’ll be locked so you won’t be tortured with them just probably the whole meds thing making me babble more than usual.

Yeah, and my bloody SSDI review has come up. *is scared* I mean, I knew it was coming; was actually expecting it last year, still doesn’t make it any better, esp considering that whole not in the US thing and it’s not helping my psyche (such as it is) the whole shit with my shrink here and not having so much as spoken with the new one, :( DNW. *sighs*

Right now all I want is to curl up with some nice telly and some hot cocoa and let the world wash away… not happening, though. Mainly because I don’t have any nice telly (that I can get away with watching with Pup home) or enough hot cocoa to sneak off with.


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heavenlyxbodies: (B/C think tank)
RALLY SQUIRRRRRRRREEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
I want a rally squirrel. *nodnodnod*

I think my brain is going to explode soon, 've been ficcing my head out and watching the post season games... GO SQUIRRELS CARDS!!!!!!!! :p~
Pup doesn't get it, she's trying, but she gets so confused when I like multiple teams. *shakes head* What's so hard to understand that you have a pecking order, she gets it with my snooker, but for some reason she doesn't with baseball. Like she doesn't understand that I was rooting for the Braves over the Cards, the Cards over the Phillies, the Brewers over the D'backs, the Cards over the Brewers, and either the Cards or the Brewers over the Tigers or the Rangers [and lets not go into the Tigers/Yankees things 'cause that just gets totally screwy since she was rooting for the Yankees and now is rooting for the Tigers... THAT makes sense, but mine doesn't? WTHs... it should probably say something that she prefers AL teams to NL teams- heathen, lol (pls remember that I also root for the Red Sox, so there are always exceptions, :p~) ...I guess I did go there, lol.]

Anyway head exploding... 5 fics (4 completed) and one niggling idea that I think 'm totally outta my depth on writing...
pokes at cut )

And not that it's any surprise, but Colin is frying my brain... I so wasn't prepared for the Late Late Show pics... I still haven't ventured to actually watch it... I keep squeaking and it scares the childer, lol. Is it too early to break out my Christmas icon Arthur made me last year? 'cause really I still want, lolololol.

Is it bad that 'm sitting here watching last night's Cards/Brewers game switching over to SVT2 every now and then waiting for Dragoon to show up? ...while making sure HS isn't paying attention or she'll start squeeing Though she still hasn't forgiven me for Island... 52 minutes of her staring at the telly and at me and at the telly and at me and finally "He looks like Murhlin" "Oh..."
Woohoooooooo!!!!!! Stalling tactics worked, and she didn't bat an eye, *snickers* Gods I love that look Arthur gives him Bawahahahahahahahahaha! Okay, my world has just been made exponentially better. :}

And I am officially ignoring S7 until further notice, much to Fanboy's horror and dismay *shrugs* but I figure I watch my shows to make me happy and if that woman is buggering my show I don't need to deal with it, not just yet at any rate. I'm still collecting the eps so I can watch them when I decide to, whenever that may be.

Alrighty, back to the grindstone, mayhaps there will be posted fic in my future. ;)


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heavenlyxbodies: (Dead Again scissors1)
*may contain traces of nuts spoilers*


GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! )

Why the fuck do I still bother watching telly any more if they're pulling this shit with both of my shows? *snuggles deep in her head canon and locks herself in her fandom bubble*

And if ppl are wondering yes, I was serious about the SPN question. *pouts*


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heavenlyxbodies: (Andreas)
Andreas Johnson is HOT... I just haven't said that in a while and with the new wave of Scorett commercials I deemed it worth mentioning.

I'm being an awful horrible f-lister more than usual because 'm avoiding all the spoilers and speculation and whatnot from SPN and Merlin which pretty much knocks out ALL of my f-list. No offence to anyone, 'm just trying to live in denial as long as possible. :/
I really don't like being two shades away from tears over my shows, esp when one hasn't even started yet... *head desk* I need a life. I need to not have strange nightmares about not getting lost in St Louis and those being the nightmares you "wake up to" when you're having nightmares about the horrible places you mind can go with what they're doing to my Merlin this series!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! your shows... and it's one of those nightmares that circles in on itself like some great dreamworld ouroborus.
Even fic isn't helping... I need some loving B/C fic if anyone has any lying around... *pouty lip*

I do not like this whole thing with the AL and NL wild card spots... it's supposed to be Red Sox and Braves *grrrrrr* (and no it has not escaped my easily amused mind that they were once both based out of Boston, and really that has nothing to do with it...)

*goes back to looking for more Andreas... Andreas makes things better*


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heavenlyxbodies: (Bradley mrphle)
Okay, so I worked a wee bit on the Merlin_Muses #2 sequel, but only because the entire opening scene sprouted unbidden in my head, lol. I have since packed it away, nice and safe, and started or restarted working on my SPN beading project, but then today I had the most brilliant realization. There’s no fic or anything weighing over me, and I have a nice possibly less than legal copy of DII… I brushed my Paladin off and spent the day smashing the crap outta beasties and baddies and jacking up my Thorns even higher, you wanna whump on me you WILL get wumped back- almost 800% now. *bounces*
We also got our new sofa set today and HRH and I spent the afternoon putting it together, out-thinking the buggered bits, literally. AND they’re coming to paint the kitchen, finally, tomorrow. And because of all that Pup’s having a nervous breakdown, leaving me the one with the dx’s to try to hold it together… Mys is kinda on auto-pilot, guh.

It is OFFICIAL, I FINISHED IT!!! Read over, edited and tweaked, and I think it’s ready for the beta… unfortunately my normal beta’s life is being insane so she can’t do it. :( I would just go begging for an replacement beta, but I really want Arthur to read over it before I let someone else have a go at it. She’s not a beta or anything, but she’s always able to find the wholes and help me patch them up. But Arthur’s life is even more buggered, ‘ve barely talked to her in weeks. *whimpers* I’m worried about her.

Anyway, it’s DONE, and ‘m attempting to step away from the writing before I start feeling like ‘m forcing it. I plan to spend the near future killing things in DII, working on the tat, and watching the rest of S6 of SPN- it got here last week(!!!), so no more excuses for not watching it. *sighs* Just somebody make sure there’s some chocolate and maybe some ice cream… have I mentioned how much I really HATE that they’re buggering up my two fav shows six ways to Sunday? I just want my Cas not being psycho, and Gwen being cool and not fawning over Arthur, and Merlin smiling again… I’m not that difficult. *pouts*
*considers wandering off in search of fic that makes everything better, unfortunately, I’m afraid my search will be in vain :(*

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