heavenlyxbodies: (Default)




WANT
WANT
WANT
WANT
WANT
WWWWWAAAAAAAANNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTT


..actually scratch that...
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
heavenlyxbodies: (Default)
That moment when you realize you are irrevocably lost to a fandom when you decide it realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly IS that important whether or not he's from Atlanta or Marietta. *head desk and repeat*


On the upside, I have written more fic in the last two weeks than I have in the last year... okay, so one of the fics in the last year has been the 27k big bang fic of doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom, but still.
heavenlyxbodies: (Dead Again scissors1)
The Evil One has been on us for YEARS to go to Liseberg, the big amusement park in Gothenberg, and then she found out Snoop Dogg was gonna be there and convinced Pup to let her go and sent me and MM with her... I will not go into it, but I was almost crying because of something that happened (nothing with them) within the first hour we were there. Spent the next 11hrs or so depressed as sin and fighting off near constant panic attacks. Thankfully, we'd agreed that I wasn't going with the Evil One to the actual concert, and since Pup doesn't pay any mind to things like letting a 12yr old run around an amusement park with upwards of 46000 ppl shoved into it unattended and I have long since given up trying to get her to listen to me, so MM and I ran to the other side of the park for the duration. Anyway, it should say something that the best part of my day yesterday was getting to the hotel, jumping on my phone, and discovering that our war in Uto had been won (finally!). *sighs*

GAH!!!

Jul. 15th, 2014 04:01 pm
heavenlyxbodies: (fandom)
Dear lords, somebody keep me from writing comment!fic for the Daily Captain/Daily Doctor pics!!!
heavenlyxbodies: (Default)
*head desk and repeat* Why do I join fandom comms when all they do is make me want to write fic for fandoms I NEVER in a million years thought I'd even want to write fic for?
They're just so... ungh... and the pics are so... guh... and every day!!! GAH!!!!!!!!!

NOT DEAD

Jul. 3rd, 2014 02:27 pm
heavenlyxbodies: (SPN Gabriel)
...but someone pls kill my brain.
I've just finished the fic of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.
My world is getting weird. I've started going to the gym and swimming again. I went and did the initial testing for the damn Swedish class. (Which was funny since I had to write this blurb "about yourself" in Swedish, and I ended it with "I don't think my Swedish is very good and I'm starting to have a panic attack because of it." in Swedish of course, then had to do the computer part and the lady wound up saying, "you know a lot of Swedish.") And on a more playful(?) note, I have somehow managed to become a central leader in Uto. Do not want! But it's one of those things where no one else will step up and do the job. Like Juke doesn't really want to be monarch, but no one else will do it, I don't really want to be steward, but no one else will do it, HD doesn't want to be monarch or steward, but he winds up doing the latter during wars. The fucked up bit with that is that it actually works for us, well, the KD, lol.
And let's not even touch the headachy bit (much).
But all I can think of is another fusion, a proper fusion this time and it's the most... I mean... well, on one hand I can't believe it hasn't been done yet (yes, I checked), on the other all the bits just fall into place so bloody well! Oh, and I think it's gen... maybe... probably... possibly pre-slash... definitely bonding- not BONDING bonding, just normal friendship bonding.
Here lie bits of the bunny if anyone's interested ) ...shoot me now.

In other fun news, I finally sat down and watched Dredd. I think I'm in love. I don't know what the naysayers are on about, it was gorgeous. I also finally got to watch Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit and damnit all to hells they made a Jack Ryan that feels like Jack Ryan again- thank you Ken Branagh, proving once again, what I have known since 1989, that you are totally AWESOME! I want mooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee of both. Need more. *pants*
Watched a bunch of other Urban-y stuff too, but that's not for here; just really needed to mention Dredd- it makes me happy.
heavenlyxbodies: (Dead Again scissors2)
Have I mentioned how much I HATE the Swedish medical system?
I mean, I know it's supposedly way better than in the US and in some ways it is, but fuck at least in the States you can find docs that at least pretend to give a shit.

But here, no, it's all:

  • Oh, we think you may have AS. We'll refer you to the eval offices.

  • No, let's wait on a therapist until we get the eval.

  • P-doc transfers to ER Psychward

  • New p-doc is awesome!!!

  • 3 months later new p-doc no longer works there.

  • New p-doc the 2nd is a git, who still won't get me a therapist.

  • 3 yrs after the fact get eval.

  • Get new dx of AS!

  • Have to change p-docs 'cause he 'doesn't treat patients with AS'. *head desk*

  • Oh, and the new p-doc will set you up with a therapist now that we have the new dx.

  • 6 months later see new p-doc (p-doc m2).

  • No, we won't set you up with a therapist until you go over here to this other place I'm referring you to.

  • And by the way I'm going to refuse to see you for a minimum of 6 months and only give you enough meds for 2 months.

  • Get letter from referral place saying it will be 5 months or more before anyone can see me. *grinds teeth*

  • Call for meds to find out p-doc m2 has quit and not left anything about needing meds...

  • ...still won't give me more than 2 months worth.

  • Finally get appt with replacement p-doc m2 the 1st, 7 months after requested.

  • Get call this morning cancelling appointment to be rescheduled at an unknown time...


No, it's not like I NEED HELP. Or I'm ACTUALLY ASKING FOR IT, DAMN YOU!!!!!! Or that I've been BEGGING for 4 years- fucking BEGGING!!!
Nooooooooooooooooooooo, Mys isn't important enough to even keep an appointment she's been waiting 7 months for; an appointment she asked to have 4 months ago and was told she couldn't. Now? Fuck knows!
And the mysterious other place the p-doc m2 referred me to? Haven't heard fuck all from them.

Mys, pissy? Moi? Never... wanting to rip people apart limb from limb after slowly flaying their skin from their bones... now that, that sounds more like me.

It's fucking depressing to think that I'd be getting better mental health care while on Soc Sec Disability in the States than I am here.
heavenlyxbodies: (Default)
WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME GRIS AND SARA BROKE-UP!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

*runs about humming happy tunes and throwing confetti*


This ranks right up there with getting confirmation that Cas was gonna be coming back for S5! That feeling like going outside between spring thunderstorms or that time in autumn when evening is coming and everything gets quiet because all the kids are going inside and the adults are getting ready for their evening, even if it's just curled up on a porch swing reading, and its like nothing is there except the rustle of leaves... yeah, that feeling.
heavenlyxbodies: (SPN smite)
We all know how often I post things like this here. I seldom let this part of my tumblr world mesh with LJ, but damn I am having toooooooo much fun with this. Call me immature if you want, lords know I have over this, lol. Anyway, shutting up now- it should link to the original post on tumblr, at least as far as I can track it.

heavenlyxbodies: (Default)
Okay, it's almost week on and I finally watch HLV again. And, well, I can say this, my head canon is still going strong... it was forged in the fires of Kripke hell and survived the age of Gamble the Destroyer, now it is taking on that deepest of evils- Moftiss.

Nah, you know that little part of you that just has to find a way to explain everything, a way to make Dean treating Cas like shit 'alright', and Cas being an evil psycho angel who didn't go to Dean in the first place *head desk and repeat* be understandable and more to the point fixable (and by the way PTB, we of fandom could have offered you many, many suggestions on how to do this), a way to bring Gabe back, a way to explain Lisa without being all bashy... yeah, that kind of head canon. It's been going to work on all the wtf bits of HLV, and slowly I am coming to terms with a lot of it (my brain just kinda short-circuits when it gets down to what Sherlock knew about Mary and can't get past that, but give me time, I'm sure I'll come up with something before series 4 comes along).

Anyway, just putting that out there. 'm gonna go back to oogling tumblr and being sick... though surprisingly these two things are not related... at least this time they arent't.
heavenlyxbodies: (Sherlock Sherlock oysters)
Okay, now that I’m calmer, I’m gonna try to look at this whole mess objectively. We’re gonna start with some of the stuff I’ve already discussed with Mia about Sign of Three and hopefully go from there.

***SPOILERS*** for S03E02-03 )



Okay, I’m going to go stealthily slit ppls throats on Uto, take out some of this lovely aggression. Still, hate them, still pissed, but more rational, so, it’ll get there.
heavenlyxbodies: (Dead Again scissors1)
Why is it that She gets persnickety over my amt of tv/film knowledge then gets upset when she comes barging in declaring so-and-so is dead and I look at her like she's grown another head ('cause usually it's someone I've never heard of or don't care about- in a proffessional/theatrical sense)? Or in this case- "That Fast and Furious actor is dead." "Vin Diesel?" "I don't know that Fast and Furious actor." At which point she walks off in a huff... It was Paul Walker for anyone interested, not Vin Diesel.

Before that, like minutes before, I was asking what she thought of the Christmas tree... she declares she's not looking at it and doing her best to ignore it because it goes against everything she was raised with. <---that's pretty much a direct quote And then she starts muttering about 'bling-bling'. I just... I wanted to have a proper Christmas this year. A properly decorated tree with bits of Swedish tradition and what I grew up with. That's why I got HRH and MM to help me and go picking out decorations with me, so we'd have both. But no, she's not happy being all fucking bah-humbug at me for wanting to do Christas to begin with she has to be a fucking bitch about the tree! I'm the one who put it up, I'm the one who bought the lights and ornaments and trimmings, it was MM and me who decorated it, she doesn't like it fucking fine, but she doesn't have to be a bloody cunt about it. And yes, I just said cunt- I'm upset!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday it was trashing my music. I've been on this weird ass country kick the last few weeks and she gets all in my face about it; then she tells me I'm getting old because I only listen to music from the 60's and 70's. Which seriously, since when is DCFC 60's and 70's, or Dropkick Murphys or Flogging Molly or Barleyjuice... at least she could move it up to the 90's with my LoA, Bloodhound Gang, Sisters, KMFDM, Rage Against the Machine, Book of Love, etc... etc... etc...

And after that we were watching something, I don't even remember and I was shutting down the DVD player and said something about checking my prov and I decided (I'd been debating it for a while, but I finally bit the bullet) that I'd try to broach a wee bit of my on-line world to her (she's always saying how I'm all secretive, which really, if someone gives you grief every time you bring up something are you gonna be all going outta your way to share that something with them in the future????????). Anyway, I figured the KD based on that Vikings tv thing from History Channel whould be a good tidbit to test the waters with then maybe the Sherlock Holmes KD from a couple Ages back just get the idea out there. But no. She comes at me saying something about "It's sad when 38yr old women play with fiction characters." And then something about being a delinquint or crazy- the drooling over your apple sauce kinda crazy, I was already shutting down at that point so it kiinda got lost in the roaring of my head trying not to react.

Anyway, I just get the feeliing this weekend was some sort of Bash the Mys celebration. Could've at least given me a nice last meal or something. :/

And I'm almost outta my meds and I still don't understand why the fucking asshat doc couldn't just write the prescription last month when I asked, which means I get to spend the next week trying to get up the nerve to call them again.
And I'm late on my Secret Santa fic.
And WMTDB has gone down for some reason and I was right in the middle of a fic!
And in another (albeit unintentional) kick the Mys while she's down move, my only other real friend in my game is quitting after this Age. I mean, sure, I talk with a couple other guys, but he and Tam were the ones who I could go to with questions and who knew about the r/l stuff that got in my way sometimes. Tam left last Age. There's only two other ppl who've been around this KD as long (longer actually, in at least one case much longer) as me and neither of them know my extenuating circs and at least one of them isn't going to know and I don't think the other is in enough of a position that he needs to know. I'm feeling kinda lost... :(
heavenlyxbodies: (Default)
Sorry, random exclamation is random.

When HRH and Fuckboy got kicked out last year they put all their shit in our storage room without any concern as to the stuff we (read I) needed to get to. This included the Christmas stuff, which since Pup has gone all bah-humbug, hasn't been much of an issue, until now...
Anyway, I've been begging for help to get into the storage room and find at least the tree. Today I gave up and attacked it my myself and after much manhandling of random furniture, I emerged victorious! Receiving much bah-humbugging from Pup when I came in with the box, beaming like a fool, and proclaiming my tree gathering prowess. But you know, she can bite me. I have gotten prezzies for her, MB, MM (who is either gonna kill me or kiss me), and I'm about 1/4-1/3 done with HRH's, which just leaves the Evil One and you have no idea how much I just wanna drag out one of the stockings (I have a couple in my stuff for some reason, lol) and stuff it with coal, but the significance would be lost on her.

Anyway, one dragon slayed, off to face the next one... and the next... and the next... mardi-gras
heavenlyxbodies: (TP librarian)
Reading CSI fic in which Greg (or misc relative) is speaking Norwegian and me, being me, mentally translate from Norwegian to Swedish then to English...

(thank you demon cable box that refuses to code in Swedish, but in Norwegian instead, not Finnish, Norwegian- and really, why am I the only person who can read it????)
heavenlyxbodies: (Default)
Happiness is 8 hrs of C.S.I.
8 beautiful hours only punctuated by a minor obsession with Greg's forearms and trying not to get mopey over the lack of Grissom.
heavenlyxbodies: (Default)
So the other day I got it in my head to go find some nice Nick/Greg fic... and I ignored it. Then the next day I got it in my head to go find some nice Nick/Greg fic... and I ignored it. Then the next day I got it in my head to go find some nice Nick/Greg fic... Then the next day- well, you see where this is going. Point is that after two weeks I finally gave in and went prowling around for that and my other more secret slashtastic CSI loves. And I'm starting to remember why I stopped reading it to begin with. It's hard to focus on the relationship when you're constantly going 'oh, he did not just do that- protocol, man, protocol' or 'but that's not proper chain of custody' or 'never happen, this is not CSI Miami' or 'come on, contaminating the crime scene much', ad nauseum... I know suspension of disbelief, artistic license, and all that, but for gods' sakes, can they at least stop contaminating the scenes!!!!!!!!!!!! *head desk and repeat*

Fic is being ficcy, and even the one that needs to be on the front burner is shoved a bit to the back atm because not one, but BOTH my teams made the post season!!!!!!! *dances and squees* So yes, the Braves and the Cards both won their divisions. This makes Mys a very happy person. And a rather distracted and exhausted one, too, lol, but it is all in a good cause. :D

I have continued my program of wrenching the telly back into my grubby little hands at night now that Fuckboy's gone and HRH is off with her friends most of the night. I am slowly kinda making some headway in my CM that I missed and am picking out sporadic eps of CSI... and dude, words I never ever want to hear, and words that have been a big part of why I have avoided the last few seasons, even getting past the lack of Grissom- 'you (Sara) and Grissom are married'... I swear I nearly puked, and considered throwing things. And can I just remind ppl that (Arthur don't look, babe) while I am a slasher by nature I am also a devout believer in Grissom/Lady H (and Cath/Warrick, but that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish), so don't go givin' me any lip about just because it's not a slashy pairing blahblahblah. GSR kills, man, end of story. ANYWAY, I was just trying to say good on me taking back my tv time, rawr!

I got caught up with SPN a couple weeks ago. And can I just say DAAAMMMNNN. I... well, we all know I have strong feelings on certain SPN related things, but fuck me if Carver didn't go and mange to hit my squick in such a way that I'm jonesing for more anyway. Unfuckin' believable. But gods, it's just so fucking good to have my show back, and watchable, and like a series, not just these fits and spurts of program.

Alright laundry calls, and CSI after that then hopefully some CM or NCIS. *purrs*

ETA: Oh, lookit! I changed my default icon! I've only had the other one for like 3 years since I opened this LJ and another year or so on my old SPN LJ. But yeah, I heard this in that ep and was just like, GUH! and knew I had to icon it, and it seemed a fitting transition, so yeah. *happy*
heavenlyxbodies: (JM poodles)
'scuse the incoming capslock and ginormous font, but those who know me will understand and won't judge. ;)

FABRIC STORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, you heard right. After some 7+ years Mys has found a fabric store in Sweden. A real, proper fabric store. Not one of those drapery stores with a depressing selection of formal fabrics and way too much yarn. No, an honest to gods fabric store with normal everyday fabrics and notions and PATTERNS!!!!!! Real McCall's and Butterick (and Vogue *bleh*) pattern catalogues, too! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Mys is happy.
Now the only question is where to start. Mawahahahahahaha.

HS's birthday is coming up and it has been decided that I am making her birthday cake this year... she wants a bloody Spongebob cake, one of those at least partially 3D ones. *head desk* Well, guess how I'm spending my Saturday and Sunday! Yay! Not. Lol. Oh, well, I can use a challenge... okay, well, I'm trying here, yeah. :P

Speaking of challenges, I am now up to 5 BBs and 2 challenges/exchanges and 1 exchange dangling in front of me going "We have coooookkkkkkiiiiieeeeeessssssss", but for now that one at least is being put in the wait for it column. And I have already decided I'm knocking off one of the BBs, and no, I don't feel bad about it because I signed up for two in the same BB 'cause I wasn't sure which would want to get written fully expecting to cut out one of them. I am worried about the 2 challenges/exchanges. 1 is just not going, it stalled a month ago and is only giving me death spasms now. The other I just have no idea what to do with the prompts involved. My big BB has taken a turn for the headachy; it stalled out for a few days there and has been going slowly to boot, but I think that's got a lot to do with the part I'm at, there's a lot of detail or at least a lot of things I have to make sure match up or don't contradict each other or canon. But I got in early on the BBs so rough drafts aren't due until January for the earliest one.

My game is already starting with the headaches, but I expected that since Sensei wasn't gonna be around. I just hate calcs and trying to make myself heard and trying not to kill my poor thieves, while trying not to kill my KD-mates at the same time, lol. But last war went well, and I think most of my calcs have worked out right, so yay me. :p And hopefully tomorrow I can find someone who needs to be relieved of their gold so it can be used more productively in training my troops and converting my build. A plan, I has it. ;)

I've also been stealing back my tv time and getting more regular about it, too. Of course they went and stopped showing NCIS right when I was getting in a rhythm so I'm trying to suss the scheduling out again, but I think I'm getting it. Gonna test my theory today.
Yes, I'm still on my movie kick, though I have been expanding into suspense thrillers, so more toys to play with. I just finished catching up with my H5-0 and MM and I have 4 eps left of S8 of SPN and can I just say In Carver We Trust :D:D:D:D:D:D:D My show's back.

And my most recent victim has just finished making it's way into my evil little hands, so I am going to post this and go watch cheesy sci-fi/fantasy movies.
heavenlyxbodies: (Default)
Joining and more to the point getting e-mail alerts for new entries on [community profile] bigbangindex was the WORST and BEST thing I have done in ages.

I've just signed up for my 4th... and am looking longingly at a 5th. Somebody save me!
heavenlyxbodies: (Merlin donkey!Arthur invalid)
Well,I was planning on doing a nice dumping post in the next few days, but this little tidbit could not be contained...

IT'S FUCKING OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*dances madly*


That was one of the most horrible and excruciating things I have ever suffered through. I mean, seriously awful. We're talking driving you out of fandom awful. I have a WIP I plan to finish, a colab with Arthur for a comm, and I plan to finish out the Silence!verse, but that's it, no more. At least, that's the plan.
Now, don't get me wrong my Merlin muses haven't been truly inspired lately, so I was thinking of putting it on the back burner as it were. But this horrible experience just killed what I had left. If that is the state of the fandom these days then I don't want to be part of it. Note, I am talking about the ppl, not the fic. I mean, 99% of it wasn't anything I would normally read, but you write or do art and have the guts to put it out there I'm not gonna call you to the carpet unless you specifically ask my opinion (though honestly overall if that was an accurate set of exemplars for the fandom then I grieve for it), but no, it was the ppl, the experience. Yeah, the challenges were crap and mundane and nothing really inspiring, but... the ppl... UGH! Rude, clique-ish, and unwelcoming. And sometimes just plain spiteful. I don't wanna be active in a fandom like that. I prefer my fandoms to be supportive and friendly.

And I'm sorry to any of you (ie Cheeky) who might be reading this who actually tried- thank you.

And Mr. [personal profile] neuroticnick, not like I expect you to see this, but I have held my tongue for 2 weeks and now it must be said, you are a total douche! Seriously, fine if a fic doesn't float your boat, tickle your fancy, or in any other way 'do it' for you, but you don't, you just don't go out of your way to diss it in the fucking results post!!!!! That's just wrong... and cruel. And in response from #6, I'm sorry if writing fic that was more complicated than a "Dick and Jane" book is above your comprehension levels. I would suggest enrolling in some adult education classes, perhaps.

Okay, I feel better now. Now off to find some nice violence and homicide!
heavenlyxbodies: (Default)
Alright, ladies and gellyspoons, are we ready for the next fun filled installment of “Oh, the horror”? Because I have no life, below you will find over 30 movies in varying states from blindingly polished to mouldy dust bunnies, enjoy. :P

Oh, the horror, or not, Pt V )

Profile

heavenlyxbodies: (Default)
heavenlyxbodies

Tags

Style Credit